HOLIDAY FOR A LOAD OF BANKERS!!!

As well as the stories below sent to me today we had the joy of 1 trashed bed due to a bed wetter one compete set of bedding including quilt ruined by about ten gallons of orange juice being thrown everywhere, a smashed bedside lamp broken by an alcoholic sleep walker,who kindly left us about a hundred empty beer bottles in the room oh joy of joys.!!!




Hi XXXXXXXXXXXX

just another day at the mill----------------

10.30am guests checking out.

Guest " I know your notice says that our cars have to be out of the car park by 12 noon but can we leave them until about 7.00pm as we want to spend the day on the beach and there is no point in setting off early on Bank Holiday Monday we will just get stuck in traffic"?

Receptionist " Unfortunately we are full tonight and the guests arriving in the five rooms that your party occupy will want to park there
five cars in the car park when they arrive"

Guest " But we will be gone by 7.00pm"

Receptionist (with a smile) " I am sorry sir we haven't got the space"



2

1.30pm Telephone call

Caller " Hello have you got a room available for the 24th October for one night"

Receptionist " Yes we do"
Caller " Do you have a car park?"
Receptionist " We do"
Caller " Oh good, I want to park a Jeep and a very long trailer"
Receptionist "How long?"
Caller " A glider in a trailer"
Receptionist ( knowing that we only have enough spaces "I don't think we would be able to accommodate a trailer that large"
Caller " We can you give me the number of another hotel with a car park?"
Receptionist " Yes of course I can its is xxxxxxxxxxx ( thinking they can sort this one out)
Caller "and where is that hotel"
Receptionist " Its here in Llandudno about XXXXXyds away from us"
Caller " But I don't really want to go to Llandudno I want to go to Chester do you know the phone number of a hotel with a car park in Chester?"
An exasperated receptionist who knows that Chester is 50 miles away " I'm sorry I don't, but you could try the internet"


4.00pm a ring on the reception bell.

At the counter is the grandmother from room 9 ( staying in the room are grandmother, mother and 9 yr old son)

Receptionist " Hi what can I do for you?"

Guest " Our Stephen has got his grade 3 trumpet exam on Thursday and he is very good you know he can play some great tunes, can he practice in our room for his exam???????????????????????

Stunned Receptionist " Errrrrrrm, I Don't think so, its now 4 O'clock and people are starting to come back to the hotel for an afternoon rest before going our for the evening.

Guest " I will understand if you say no but he does need to practice for Thursday and he doesn't need to do it right now I was just asking in general for while we are here?"

A slightly more composed receptionist " No I'm sorry I don't think so"

Guest " But he is very good you would really enjoy it"

A more certain and confident Receptionist " No I'm sorry we are full with xx guests in the Hotel I couldn't allow one person to disrupt all the other people no matter how good he plays.

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As I said just another day at the mill

XXXXX

Vacancy For Hotel owner

I got chatting to a couple of guests the other day and they mentioned that they were thinking of buying a place in Llandudno and wanted to pick my brains on what it was like, he was thinking of giving up work and becoming a small Hotel owner so he could play more golf.

After i got back up off the floor and changed my underpants as i had pissed myself laughing i started to think about what was involved and what skills they would need.

Here is a list of the ones i could think of please send me any i may have forgot

Chef,Kitchen Porter,Dish Washer,Waiter,receptionist,Chambermaid,Cleaner,Restaurant Manager,Plumber,Painter,Carpet Fitter,Electrician,Joiner,decorator,Plasterer,Laundry Manager,Housekeeper,Telephonist,Computer Engineer,Marketing Manager,Delivery Driver,Stock Controller,Buyer,Designer,TV Repair man,Washing Machine Repair Man,Booking Clerk,Tourist information Clerk,Weatherman,Stress Councillor,Marriage Guidance Councillor,Golf course expert,restaurant Critic,Paperboy, Alarm Clock,Travel advisor,Traffic Reporter,Locksmith,Accountant,Book Keeper,Entertainer,Barman,Security Guard,Gardner,Concierge.

Then when you have done all that in a morning you can play Golf in the afternoon,
They went straight home and looked forward to their weekend off,when they could wake up on a Sunday morning lie in bed and read the papers with coffee toast and orange juice. AHHH i remember that

Im often asked wich Hotel i run