Llandudno Hoteliers

It's Started

2012-02-08T13:45:00.003Z

I answer the phone. "Do you have any stuffed animals in your hotel?" "No sir, not a stuffed animal here" "Are you sure, I have been led up the garden path with this before. Hotels have assured me that they have no stuffed animals, then when I get there, I spot a stuffed bird" "Sir, if you care to book, I will personally guarantee twice your money back if you spot as much as a stuffed mouse here"

Quite bizarre really that sort of conversation, but that is one I actually got. And it is not atypical of the sort of questions that guests come up with. It is not just

Man Made Pillows, anti alergy pillows instead of feather ones is a common request, as is duvets instead of blankets, for those allergic to feathers. Diets can be fat free, gluten free, wheat flour free, cow's milk free, magnesium free, meat free, cholesterol free, butter free, salt free, egg free. And that is only what we have had in the last few months. Actually it is not too much of a problem, unless combinations of exclusions come into play. For example we had a vegetarian who couldn't eat eggs or wheat flour - which presented a bit of a challenge

There are those guests that book a room, do not arrive by 11 pm or so when we are heading off to bed and have not phoned to say they are arriving late. They then turn up at 2 am and are confused as to why the hotel is locked up and they are locked out. We recently had an American couple in this category. They had done London that morning, then Liverpool, Chester,until they arrived at our door in the small hours. They thought that all hotels were open 24 hours and would be delighted to see them at any hour of the day or night, Another guest actually arrived at 4.30 am and phoned in a foul temper to complain the building was locked

There are alcoholics who do not want their partners to know they still drink. One couple we had in were both supposed to be on the wagon. The chap would appear furtively and order a quadruple vodka and orange (no smell on the breath). It would be downed in one, he would go and then the wife would appear, look around furtively, grab a quadruple vodka, and down that in one. Ten minutes later they would come down together , and when asked if they wanted anything to drink would reply in harmony "Only an orange juice please, we do not drink"

Eccentricity is not confined to the British, every nation has them. Funny thing is we all think we are normal people, it is only really others who can judge us.

Here we go again

2012-01-30T21:34:00.002Z

sorry i have been so quiet over the past few weeks but we have been on our well earned break, but now im back, and mrs hotel has a bucket load of jobs for me before the season kicks off.

The down time has given me a whole load of things to rant about, this season i have made a vow to try and ask more questions of the powers that be, and try and expose the waste of our hard earned money whenever i can.

And in particular ask the questions of Visit Wales who seem to do bugger all for us in North Wales, other than continue to sit in their ivory towers in Cardiff drawing their huge salaries and sodding about on jollys and employ expensive consultants to do what they should be doing in the first place.

In my opinion they do not give us good value for money, the internet now offers a more honest and unbaised opinion of any resort/hotel/restaraunt/attraction than any other medium that you can think of, that sureley means their days are numbered and they are running around like headless chickens trying to find a reason for their existence.

My money is that they have a limeted time left, But that all depends on how many freinds in high places they have.

The only hope that they have is to get out there and get some business in rather than doing what they have done for years and sitting back on their arses and waiting for it to happen.

When are they going to come up with some ideas of their own, and stop galivanting all over the world looking for the magic formula that they can copy, after all they should be able to think of something given the budget that they have, how about employing someone who has acually made a living in the business, instead of a bunch of graduates who know bugger all about the sharp end of the business.

Rant Over

Dont let them get to you

2011-11-02T11:23:00.002Z

Despite everything, all the moans and groans etc its still one of the best jobs in the world, yes the hours are long and sometimes you could kill some of the guests,
But all in all i don't think i would want to do anything else, its at this time of the year that you can reflect on what kind of season its been and this one has been the best for 10 years.

Talking to a few others in the business its also been very good especially for the smaller hotels/guest houses etc who can always be reactive quickly to any changes and circumstances.

although we will still be open for a few weekends etc its just not worth staying open for the whole stretch we have found that maybe its better to close for a short while recharge the batteries, and then come back to get the whole place ready for next season

We are always trying to upgrade the hotel, constantly refurbishing rooms, painting, buying new furniture and all that kind of stuff so that when guests come back they can see that we care and that we are always trying to improve, maybe that's where some of the larger hotels go wrong everything stays the same for years and years then there is a total refurb and its nothing like it was, change is not always good and some guests will always moan about it.

Taxi For Mr & Mrs Hotel!!

2011-10-26T12:24:00.004+01:00

Its coming to the end if the season and boy! am i looking forward to a break,
it seems that all the idiots in the country come away at this time of the year.
(or is it that the fuse is just a bit short at the moment)

List of complaints so far this week, with the reply that i wanted to give but Mrs Hotel kicked me in the shin before i had a chance to open my mouth.

1. Can you turn the radiator off in our room its to hot!

Reply Have you no hands??

2. Can you turn the radiator on in our room its to cold!

Reply see reply to 1

3. can you remove the little blue light on the TV its kept us awake all night.

Reply Turn the sodding thing off at the wall twit!

4. The kettle in our room is dangerous HOT STEAM comes out of it when its boiling

Reply No shit! Sherlock! DRINK COLD TEA

5. That shower in our room is a right Heath Robinson affair we cant turn it on.

Reply pull the Knob on the tap to make the water go to the shower head You Knob!!

6.The room we have does not have the same view as our freinds.

reply F*** *** you Silly T*** go back to the special home

7.Oh by the way we have decided to bring our 3 year old baby with us at the last minute can you put another bed it he room

reply NO problem sir we will just knock the wall down beetween your room and the one next door and kick them out onto the street, GIVE ME 5 MINS TO DO THE PLASTERING.

8. Can you draw all of the curtains in the dining room please as my wife hates the sun on her face.

Reply Of cours sir i will just pop out and get all theother guests miners helmets so that the can see their Breakfasts.

Roll on my holiday so i can go and annoy someone HEE HEE.

Phew!!!!

2011-09-30T13:01:00.003+01:00

Well those that read the blog know i am not one to moan! but by eck its been Hot Hot Hot and i dont just mean the fab weather, the Phone has almost rung of the hook this week, we could have sold the whole place about 3 times over, this is just what we all needed at the end of the main season a massive boost to all of the hotels, and in fact the whole town.

It just goes to show if we could have sunshine like this all the time there is nowhere better that the British seaside, sitting outside sipping a cool beer and watching the world go by its just a shame that Llandudno has not got more places where you can sit with a drink and look at the sea, i know there are lots of hotels but no pubs at all on north shore and only one on the west shore , its a pity cos some of the sunsets on West shore this week have been spectacular WHO NEEDS TO GO ABROAD!!!!

Hotel Booking Systems

2011-09-29T12:24:00.002+01:00

The way guests now book hotels is so very different from years ago when we all would asvertise in about 12 newspapers, the tourist board brochure etc etc, now we all have swanky web sites and links to all sorts of booking agents.

However Google are now testing their own system and it looks prety good in my opinion

http://www.google.com/hotelfinder/ it searches for hotels has reviews prices comparisons etc, its not yet available to uk hotels as google say they are only testing it but you can bet your life that it will roll out making google billions of dollars worldwide.

Will they corner the market? will they close down all the other sites? just like the internet devastated the high st travel agent? and biggest question of all how much will it cost us all?

Think about it! one company able to control the whole market it could happen.

Roads Closed Again

2011-09-23T13:04:00.003+01:00

Just spent 3 parts of an hour trying to get around town

So Today Friday, Glodaeth is closed and also the prom is closed so how the bloody hell is anyone supposed to get into town tourists will not have a clue hoe to get to their hotels another bloody Cock up by some overpaid half wit at the council with no consideration for the busineses and residendts.

Its not like anything is going on i have just been watching about 12 kids running around some barriers on the prom and nothing else, the deserted road is empty and tourists are coming to the roundabout by the sailing club and dont know where to go!!!

It would not be so bad if we knew what was going on there has been no publicity about this so called world class event and i dont know 1 hotel ownwer who has taken a booking from it.

BRAVO CONWY ANOTHER OWN GOAL

Brilliant Hotel Managers Response to Complaint

2011-09-22T14:21:00.005+01:00

Below is a brilliant response to a trip advisor review that i read today, it just shows that you can make even bad reviews work in your favour.

i have kept the Hotels name back but a trawl through the hotels section of north wales will find it.

Guests Review

We visited the hotel and went for lunch upon arrival, The hotel smells of smoke, it is dirty, untidy, short staffed & To top all that off there is no where to sit. The hotel was busy at lunch and we were disappointed to find that the Hotel Restaurant is not open on weekdays. So we had to sit in the Mirror Room where there actually was a table. Awful food, overpriced, not value for money. We were so disappointed by all this we cancelled our reservation. We could not stand the torture anymore.

Stayed August 2011, travelled with friends

Hotel Managers Response.

We are grateful for all positive and negative reviews of The ********* Hotel. Most help us to continue to raise our standards of customer service. Some are simply misleading and frankly unworthy of comment. We are not aware of any room cancellations on the day in question and as we were fully booked that day we do not understand how a room that had not been booked can have been cancelled. The lunch service was busy as one might expect on a Busy day in August. We offer a traditional 3 course Sunday lunch service on Sundays but on other days we offer a popular terrace menu with starters including local Bardsey crab salad, main courses including sea bass, local Welsh black beef, home cured ham hock and a wide choice of desserts. There is seating for 60 outside and 40 inside, all with tables and chairs as one might expect. We make no apologies for the fact that the ******** in high season is a busy place and from our guest feedback we are delighted to note that the vast majority of our customers are satisfied with their visit. However we cannot hope to please 100% of our visitors as the place simply does not suit some people and we agree that in this case it would be best for our esteemed critic to seek out a more appropriate destination next time. Should any suggestions be required we would be glad to be of service in this respect.

****** ****** ******* Hotel Mansger

Trip Advisor Interesting Points

2011-09-19T12:24:00.003+01:00

The legal view from law firm Thomas Eggar"

TripAdvisor undoubtedly has a loyal following of customers worldwide who use the site to decide where to stay. Therefore, it has great value where it is used properly by reviewers and hoteliers alike.

"Its value has even led to the UK Government suggesting earlier on in the year that the star rating for Hotels in the UK should be replaced by a customer review database similar to the one maintained by TripAdvisor on its website.

"However, TripAdvisor constantly faces complaints about the genuine nature of reviews and its position regarding the removal of comments that are not true and/or defamatory. In England, defamation claims can be brought against third parties like TripAdvisor if having been notified of a defamatory statement they continue to publish it.

"However, TripAdvisor values free speech and might not always consider that it is appropriate or necessary to remove allegedly defamatory reviews. If a review appears on TripAdvisor's website that is factually inaccurate and damages the reputation of your hotel in the UK, your ultimate recourse is to obtain a court order that is enforceable against TripAdvisor in the US.

"In these circumstances, it is more than likely that TripAdvisor would remove the defamatory content. However, such claims are expensive to pursue in the UK and the US and unless severe damage has been and is being caused to your business such claims are going to be rare.

"As a result, TripAdvisor's overall policy is unlikely to change. With this in mind, hoteliers should welcome the recent confirmation that the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) are investigating claims that some reviews on TripAdvisor's website are defamatory or made up.

"The investigation is interesting in that the ASA has only recently had authority to look at websites and in that context will be specifically considering third party user generated content.

"However, it should give TripAdvisor the opportunity to consider its policies on how reviews are verified, used and if appropriate removed. This can only be of benefit to those in the industry (including TripAdvisor) who all have a vested interest in reviews being factually accurate and helpful to customers."

The Travelodge Debate

2011-09-16T11:23:00.002+01:00

Does anyone honestly think that one Hotel With no parking is going to have any effect on any Hotel B&B Guest house etc some people think that they will come here and put us all out of business. (RUBBISH)

At the last count there were about 13000 bed spaces in Llandudno and another 40 or 50 is not going to make much of a dent in it my personal opinion is that the restaurant /Bar will be a great benefit as you can bet your life that they will serve food till late at night unlike most places in town that close at 8pm.

The whole area around it will be busier and a better place, apart from the parking issue i have no problem with it at all and welcome any competition, they will not try and undercut it is not in their interest and there are to many competitors in the market place.

I just checked Their web site for this weekend double room £55.90 plus £1.50 cancellation insurance plus £13.30 for 2 breakfasts plus £19.90 for 2 dinners plus £10.00 for 1 day use of wi fi internet, Total for 1 night £100.60 for 2 persons, and that's in Blackpool where you can get a B&B for a lot less, and an average cost here is about £90-100 for the same thing so hardly a price shattering offer is it?.

They will no doubt offer low rates in the winter when they need to keep the place full and will do an Easy jet type of thing and offer rooms for £12.00 but will probably only have 2 rooms at that rate. its just clever marketing but the public are getting wise to this upselling lark and charging for everything that used to be included.

They will have to make money, they are not a charity, they have shareholders to keep happy, and they will just want a slice of the very big cake that is on offer, they will also be advertising Llandudno on there worldwide web site and will no doubt bring visitors to the town who may not of thought of coming here in the first place,that Can only be a good thing.

All in all i welcome them and everything that they bring to the party, the good things certainly outweigh the bad.

Haulfre Gardens

2011-09-12T12:06:00.002+01:00

We decided to have a little walk up to Haulfre Gardens the other day its a smashing walk as all you locals will already know, however what a sad site there was to greet us the old shelter is in an awful state and this is what our visitors are greeted with when they venture up there.

What a pity Conwy cant see the damage that this sort of thing does to the tourist economy, its not the only eysore in town granted but sureley something could be done about it, after all its not like it would take much to put it right.

Maybe some of the students from Llandrillo could be asked to work on it as a project. (oh but silly me thats a stupid idea)

September Weather! Make or Break Month

2011-09-01T15:13:00.005+01:00

September is such an important month to a lot f hotel owners it is make or break and so dependant on the sunshnie.

Not unnaturally, guests at a holiday hotel have a keen interest in the weather. The collective mood of our hotels guests will vary from the benign (on a sunny day) to the malignant (after three consecutive wet days). So weather forecasts play an important part in our hotels guests life here, either to be assured that the good weather will continue, or to be re-assured that the bad weather will end

Indeed the whole infatuation with weather forecasts starts before they even appear here. Particularly last minute holiday makers check with the forecast before they make a booking. If the forecast looks bad, then they either go elsewhere with a better forecast, or stay at home with the TV and a takeaway pizza.

Trouble is that to weather forecasters, Llandudno, or to be fair anywhere outside the South East of England, is as remote and as important as Mongolia. Either we do not exist (in other words North Wales is not mentioned), or it gets lumped into the North west

(I saw a very gloomy Weathergirl standing in front of her map one day saying "well that was a very wet day today, wasn't it". It might have been for her in London, but here in North Wales it had been sub-tropical, a fact that she failed to mention)

Why, you might ask, should I care if weather forecasts are wrong - simple answer is that people decide not to come, if they think the weather is going to be bad.

In llandudno we would have Clear Weather around, but snow on the Mountains, pointed up by the forecasters, would lead to guests cancelling on the grounds that we must be under snow

When the hurricane struck around 1988 the media concentrated on the havoc in the South East, but went on to inform us merely that the hurricane was "heading north", with no thoughts of where in the north it was actually heading
In 1997 there was great emphasis on the news of floods in the "west country". People started cancelling holidays across Cornwall in droves. A survey of every weather station in Cornwall on the day of maximum publicity for these "west country" floods, showed that not a drop of rain had fallen in the entire county of Cornwall. Again the actual floods had been closer to London than Newquay
The collective gloom that seems to descend on guests after more than a couple of days of bad weather can be infectious. We had four couples who had booked independently of each other, met each day after dinner, and whipped themselves up into such a frenzy of despondency that they all decided to leave after a few days.

Whilst I appreciate that weather forecasting is not an exact science, and is indeed a very inexact science, forecasters ought to be more aware that they are plying with hotels livelihoods when they make the mistake of believing that if it is raining in London, then it is also raining in Newquay, Aberdeen or Llandudno. There are lots of us out here who are fortunate enough not to live in London, so let us have forecasts that stand up to scrutiny.

It may be a pain for the forecaster to say it is sunny in North Wales, if it is raining in Basingstoke, but bite the tongue and tell the viewers the truth.

Shop to Let

2011-08-22T13:18:00.003+01:00

More than one in 10 town and city centre shops across the UK were vacant at the end of May, the British Retail Consortium (BRC) has said.

Its study found the average vacancy rate was 11.2%, rising to 17.1% in Northern Ireland, the worst affected nation or region.

Wales was next, with a rate of 13.4%, with the north of England on 13.1%.

Lolipops all free today !

2011-08-17T11:17:00.002+01:00

Sometimes i think i am a bit like the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! well thats what Mrs Hotel calls me, but its that time of year when we and lots of other hotels get inundated with children, now dont get me wrong if they are well behaved i dont mind them, but sadly theese days most of them are not!.

We have a right little Brat in at the moment that insists on ordering a full breakfast then sits there playing with it for an hour and never eats any of it thats after its had about 3 different cerials that they have spat out and thrown all over the table (new linen every day) and surrounding area, then Mum will say can you take these bowls and plates away i dont think Tamara is that hungry today (WELL YOU SOULDNT HAVE LET HER BLOODY WELL HAVE AYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE), packets of Jam Honey Marmalade sauce all opened played with then discarded without a care, and the parents say nothing after all they have a right to it, as its been paid for! yeah half bleedin price cos when you rang and booked you would not pay full price for little Tamara cos she is only little and no trouble or little Nathan who is 6 feet 6 inches tall but only 11.

It breaks my heart to see the food that is wasted and just thrown out when there are so many in the world who have nothing, then every week i will buy more expensive items knowing that i have just binned 30% off waht i got last week

You see the trouble is half the time its not the kids its the parents/Grandparents that let them get away with it the kids have taken charge in lots of cases.
In my day my parents told me what when and for how long we would eat, we never left the table unless we asked or were told to.

We always cleaned up any mess (SO WE NEVER MADE ANY) and we NEVER wasted food, it was always so hard to come by in the first place.

And this is maybe the trouble today there is no respect for anyone or anything in lots of cases the kids today have everything they want food, clothes, money, holidays, games,toys. ETC ETC dont get me wrong my kids had all that too and so i am just as bad, but when we took them away or for meals etc they were always well behaved and only had what they could eat or drink.

Roll on September

How do they inspect a hotel

2011-08-05T15:25:00.003+01:00

As a hotel guest you might be interested in how a hotel is inspected. Personally I find the whole thing very depressing, as the average inspector is not concerned with whether a hotel is a nice place to stay, but are usually solely concerned with the minutiae of form filling - a growth industry in modern Britain

Being British, we do not attempt to grade hotels as good, mediocre or bad. Instead we have a star system that has nothing to do with niceness, and is based entirely on the services that the hotel offers.They go round and tick off things like mirrors, dressing tables, bedside lights, but are not concerned about the overall effect of is it a nice place to stay - bear that in mind next time you read a hotel guide book.

So the only difference between a 4 star and an identical 3 star hotel may be whether there is a night porter or not. Even with the "quality" awards such as "commended" the difference between a hotel with an award and one without may be whether bottles of mineral water are put in the hotel rooms or not (an inspector told me that).

In other words, the system has been designed to be entirely objective - everything checked off against a list. Nothing subjective is allowed, so they end up not really caring whether the hotel is a haven or hell.

To inspect a hotel, the inspector reserves a room anonymously. Arrives, stays as a "normal" customer, pays the bill and at that stage with a theatrical flourish produces their card - a bit like Clark Kent turning into Superman - announcing them a "John Jones, Quality Assurance Assessor, I jest not, Quality Assurance Assessor is what the Tourist Board call their inspectors. It is difficult to take such bureaucratic semantics seriously!

The inspector then spends the entire morning inspecting, filling up forms and telling us the shortcomings of our hotel according to their check list. The joys of running ones own business .

Some inspections are pedantic to a degree that would make a sergeant major proud. Again nothing to do with quality, everything to do with detail. A couple of examples from a recent inspection shows this

Bathrobes - we do not "have" to supply bathrobes in the bedrooms, but we do. The inspector did not like us putting them in the wardrobe, as they took space in the wardrobe. I pointed out that if we did not supply guests with bathrobes then the problem would not have arisen - they would indeed have been happier if we had not given guests bathrobes, as they were not part of their form filling scheme. So remove the bathrobes at once to make us a better hotel

Wardrobes- we have given a lot of thought to how best to allocate space in the bedrooms, in order to make the rooms as pleasant as possible. An inspector thought that we should had larger wardrobes. On my pointing out that it would make the rooms smaller, that did not enter their calculations - perish the thought that the guest should have a nice room - better that they should have a wardrobe and a bed and no space, which was the situation that we inherited in the hotel. Order absurdly large, cheap wardrobes at once to make us a better hotel

I have to physically produce a copy of the fire certificate (even though it would be a criminal offence for me to run the hotel without one, and they saw it last year) and a copy of my public liability insurance (ditto, I have to have it). For reasons best known to themselves they have me ferreting through filing systems to find these blessed pieces of papers - more time gone.

Probably the best example of the futility of it is when I had to point out to an inspector that she had found more to criticise in our superior rooms than in our standard rooms. I know which I would choose to stay in, and I suspect she would have chosen the superior rooms too. But their system was unable to take into account decor and furnishing, instead focusing on a series of points which, if I had followed, would have ended up with grottier rooms, but ones which matched their specifications. Unfortunately they seem hell bent on driving standards downwards.

Another great one is the "multi-lingual fire notice" in the bedrooms. For reasons best known to themselves the inspecting bodies have decided that all hotels that apply for stars in Britain must have multi-lingual fire notices. However there is no requirement regarding number of languages - "I think one extra language will do" said an inspector. Nor is there any guidance on which language(s), why have French and not German, Dutch and not Italian, how about Swedish, Portugese, Serbo-Croat, Hindi, Xhosa, Arabic, Mandarin, Japanese, Swaheli or Greek. The European Union has upwards of fifteen official languages, why not insist on all of them on the bedroom fire notice. What is the point at chosing one at random? Bureaucracy is determined to drive out good hotel keeping. Lets put up more notices and make our hotels really grotty.

The result is that new hotels are built to the MINIMUM standard required to achieved the required grading. The large hotel groups that dominate the hotel industry in Britain must love the hotel inspectors, as the groups can maximise their profits and minimise what they supply to the guests by doing what the inspectors want. Only a country like Britain could have ended up with this absurd anomaly
And the daftest thing of all with hotel inspectors? They are not "normal". Our average guests come in pairs, hotel inspectors come in ones. Our average guests come for several nights, the hotel inspector comes for one night. Our average guests comes to enjoy themselves, hotel inspectors come to criticise. Still they are so abnormal that most hotels can spot them a mile off.

TAX TAX TAX. TAXI FOR ME!!!

2011-08-03T11:57:00.001+01:00

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer ...

And the bill for all ten comes to £100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay £1.
The sixth would pay £3.
The seventh would pay £7.
The eighth would pay £12.
The ninth would pay £18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay £59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curved ball ...

'Since you are all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by £20.' Drinks for the ten now cost just £80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected.
They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the £20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid £2 instead of £3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay £5 instead of £7(28%savings).
The eighth now paid £9 instead of £12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid £14 instead of £18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid £49 instead of £59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the Pub, the men began to compare their savings.

'I only got a pound out of the £20,' declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, 'but he got £10!'

'Yes, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man.
'I only saved a pound, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I did'

'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man.
'Why should he get £10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks'

'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison.
'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction.
Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible

Ham Bone

2011-08-01T12:46:00.003+01:00

Went into the Ham Bone new cafe for lunch the other day, FAB had one of the pork pies with a lovely salad some onion chutney and a nice glass of rose'wine Smashing.

It is nice to see someone doing well and doing something different, the town needs a few more upmarket Bars cafes and restaurants instead of the same old boring 70s and 80s menus.

It Makes you wonder!

2011-07-21T11:38:00.002+01:00

The Following Comment was left on the blog the other day

Anonymous said...
Ah. I am very slow. I did not realise that this blog was attempting to imitate Basil Fawlty. It all makes muh more sense now. Particularly the more illiterate ramblings

I would agree with the person that left this message i think that you are probably slow, in fact years ago you would have been assessed by a doctor who would have called you ODD and may even have sent you to a local institution for slow and sad people, they would then attempt to engage you in meaningful tasks like sewing post bags in a vain attempt to re introduce you to society.

Sadly though these places are no longer open and so thanks to care in the community we have to deal with lonely people who have no purpose in life other than to trawl the Internet making meaningless comments on blogs and criticising peoples literacy.

The sad thing is that the stupid twit has the audacity to say these things but cant spell the word MUCH.

As i have said before BLOG OFF TO ANOTHER BLOG IF YOU DONT LIKE IT i dont make you read it.

How to start your day with a smile

2011-07-10T10:30:00.000+01:00

How to start your day with a positive outlook

Open a new file in your PC.

Name it as "Stupid Guest".

Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.

Empty the RECYCLE BIN.

Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Stupid Guest permanently?"

Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

Feel better? Have A Nice Day.

Hotel Toilet

2011-07-09T14:33:00.001+01:00

A man walked into hotel toilet where he found two cubicles, of which one was already occupied.

So he entered the other one, closed the door, dropped his trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the cubicle next to him:
"Hello mate, how are you going?"

He thought it a bit strange but not wanting to be rude he replied
"Yeah, not too bad thanks."

After a short pause, he heard the voice again
"So, what are you up to mate?"

Unsure of what to say, he reluctantly replied
"Umm, just having a quick poo... How about yourself?"

He then heard the voice for the third time ......
"Sorry mate, I'll have to call you back . I've got some moron in the loo next to me answering everything I say."

Another one Bites the Dust

2011-07-08T16:56:00.002+01:00

Just heard that another Hotel in town has sadly closed its doors due to finacial faliure thats 2 in just a few weeks when is someone in CCCB going to realise that there are to many beds in town to support the ammount of visistors.

All the hoo haa When Venue Cymru opened the council harping on about how many visitors we would get, when will that happen?? until somebody gets of there backside and starts pulling in some decent coferences the whole place in my opinion is a white elephant.

Southport, in my opinion is not a patch on Llandudno yet seems to be able to have decent conferences and events all year, perhaps we should do a Man City and buy the sales and marketing dept from there, Sack all the ones we have and see what happens......

Its My Lucky Day

2011-06-30T07:38:00.001+01:00

We get loads of crap e-mails and i wish i knew where they got our names from here is one we got today.

Good day!

I am Mr.davi director auditing and accounting department" bank of Africa (boa) Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso .I discovered the sum of seven million, two hundred thousand dollars (usd7.2) belonging to a deceased customer of this bank the fund has been lying in a suspense account without anybody coming to put claim over the money since the account owner late, Mr Salla khat from Lebanese who was involved in the December 28th 2006 Benin car crash.

it is therefore, upon this discovery that i decided to take this ultimatum and make this business proposal to you as the fund will be release to you as the next of kin or relation to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and i don't want this money to go into the bank treasury as unclaimed bill the banking rules here stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed after five years, the money will be transferred into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the deceased customer was a foreigner and a Burkina be cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

Therefore, I am soliciting for your assistance to come forward as the next of kin. I have agreed that 40% of this money will be for you as the beneficiary respect of the provision of your account and service rendered, 60% will be for me. Then immediately the money transferred to your account from this bank, I will proceed to your country for the sharing of the fund.again you can call me through my telephone number +226 75376152 for more information.

Yours faithful,

Mr.davi

Hotel Theft!

2011-06-20T15:00:00.002+01:00

We have an old boy who has been staying at the hotel for over 30 years or so, he used to come with his wife who sadly passed away a few yers back and now comes on his own.

Every year i have noticed a decline in his physical and mental health, and Lets face it its coming to us all but this time im afraid we may not see him back next year.

However a funny incednt involving him made us all have a good laugh and he even saw the funny side himself (in the End)

He Came to reception on his day of departure and said that he had a problem in his room and could Mrs Hotel go there now as he supected there had been a theft, he was sure about this as he had been saying that the houskeeper kept leaving his door open all week (not true he kept leaving it open himself)

Anyway when they got to the room he pointed at his bag all packed up and said LOOK someone has stolen the handles off my bag!! he went on that he knew they were definateley there when he checked in as his son had carried the bag in for him when he dropped him off last week.

Mrs hotel started to search the room looking under the bed in the wardrobe all the drawers everywhere, then the penny dropped as she noticed his holdall was INSIDE OUT.

CRIME SOLVED ALL STAFF EXONORATED!!!!!!!!!

Welsh Dinner???

2011-06-17T11:48:00.002+01:00

Some overseas guests asked a very good question today,

Where can we go and have some traditional Welsh food? anyone got any ideas!!

GREEN????

2011-06-06T16:08:00.004+01:00

Can anyone tell me what is green about having about 6 different plastic bins bags and sacks lying about the place, just waiting for the next strong winds to blow the stupid things all over town.

And whats green about having about 6 bin vans and trucks whizzing about using fuel and costing a fortune to both man and operate.

Not that long ago we had 1 van, 3-4 men, once a week every week, and all was ok unless you left the top of the bin open more than an inch of course.

Why in this modern age do we not have a seperation plant to do it all.

Offers!!!

2011-06-03T15:10:00.004+01:00

Saw a Hotel this week offering 3 nights for the price of 2, in June, on a school holiday, with good weather WHY? what has it come to.

When your service and qaulity is good why would you want to give your hard earned profits away? just imagine that you worked for say Marks and spencer and it was a Busy week, would you go the Manager and suggest that they cut all the stock by 20% and also take 20% off your wages.

The discount route as i have stated previousley is a downward spiral that nobody can win at, in the end the product is poor and customer satisfaction is lowered.

Many years ago i used to sell flight seats for a large airline a seat would cost say £100.00 to spain you would sit by your partner and take a suitcase you would also get a meal the agent would get about £10.00 and everyone was happy.

Now a low cost no frills airline will sell a seat for £29.00 each way = £58.00
2 meals £30.00 pre book seats together £30.00 20kg of luggage £30.00 Credit card charge £10.00 and booking fee £10.00.

Total for this £196.00 as apposed to £200 okay a saving but and its a big BUT the service and the product is in my opinion not comparable you also never felt like you were being ripped off at every turn.

How long i wonder till Hotels adopt this pricing structure???

Bloody Cheek

2011-05-23T12:06:00.000+01:00

its no wonder some hotels are struggling to make any money when you have coach firms pulling stunts like this how are the hotel owners supposed to give a good service and provide qaulity when this is on offer, below is an enquiry that we got recently.

I wouldn't mind but you cant even get a decent meal on its own for what they are offering.

Good Morning,

We are looking for accommodation in the LLANDUDNDO area for one of our Private Groups, arriving on the following date:

SATURDAY 19th NOVEMBER 2011 x 1 nights – Our Reference: PG13/11
** The maximum number of rooms we are looking for is as follows:
12 x Double en suite room(s)
12 x Twin en suite room(s)
2 x Single en suite room(s)
1 x Room for driver

The rate we are looking for pay for the above tour(s) is £17.00 per person per night and is to include the following:
- V.A.T
- Dinner (3 course with choices), bed and breakfast accommodation
- Party Time Entertainment
- Free place for coach driver
- No single supplement

Please can you advise me as soon as possible if you are able to accommodate any of the above tour(s) by return of email or by fax to *****************.

Yours Sincerely,

XXXXXXXXX

XXXXXXXXXX

Just when you thought you had seen it all!

2011-05-22T10:56:00.003+01:00

Some people never cease to amaze me, the antics of some guests makes me both laugh and cry, but now i hava a new favorate.

The other morning a guest came into the dining room he marches straight up to me and thrusts an electrical testing meter in my face and demands that i give him some time to discuss a couple of issues that he has with his room.

right then, he says i have done a thourogh electrical test on all of the portable devices and also all of the light fittings and plug sockets and to my utter horror have found that you have a slight earth leek on one of the sockets,( he continues)i have carried out theese tsets at several times during the day and night to allow for the different voltage fluctuations but it still seems to be there.

I just stood there mouth open in total disbeief of this complete nutter.

After composing myself i said that we would get the offending socket checked, this we did later in the afternoon, next day he collars me again and asked what was happening, i informed him that we had tested the fitting and could not find any fault at all.

AHHH he announced What kind of meter are you using because mine is very sensetive and yours may not be.

I of couse was sensetive with my reply **** ***

1 why would you take a electrical testing device on holiday?
2 Why would you even think about sticking something into someone elses supply.
3 when on holiday why sit in your room mesuring voltage fluctuations.

Gulls will be Gulls

2011-04-22T11:56:00.002+01:00

The reception bell was being rung furiously at 750am just as we were in full flow of breakfast at first i thought christ!! the Hotel is on fire! at the desk stood a very angry looking elderly lady with a face that looked like she was chewing a wasp when we asked her what was the matter she just ponted to her shoulder and said look at that what are you going to do about it Well i nearley fell over laughing while Mrs Hotel pushed me away and gave me a kick! in the Shins.

There she was the silly old sod with the biggest pile of Seagull Crap all over her and wanted to know what we as local hotel owners were going to do to clean her up.

Needless to say Mrs Hotel did the job and the wasp chewing old girl stuffed her face none the worse off.

Beatie Would Turn In Her Grave

2011-04-21T10:50:00.004+01:00

I had the terrible misfortune to have to contact BT as our Internet went down, after about an hour pushing button 1 then 2 then 3 then 4578 etc i was put through to an automated robot who kept saying I'm sorry i didn't understand that option (no shit Sherlock) there is no option that says please can i speak to a human.

After about an hour i actually got to speak to a young man in Belfast!! and i explained what the problem was he advised me that the power supply to the router was not working (even though it was still all lit up like a sodding Christmas tree)

He said somebody would contact me soon and sort it out,guess how they contacted me? THE STUPID SODS SENT ME AN E-MAIL now hoe the hell am i supposed to get that when i have no Internet? this saga continued for a further 2 days before i got it sorted out and speaking to at least 6 people from various parts of the world.

World Record ?

2011-03-27T10:16:00.003+01:00

Is this a world record or even a town record for the biggest breakfast eaten by a guest

2 Weetabix
1 portion of All Bran
1 Bannana
1 Yoghurt

1 egg
3 bacon
3 hash Browns
5 Sausages
1 Portion of Mushrooms
1 portion of Beanz
2 Tomatoes Fresh Whole

12 YES!! 12 round of white toast
Marmalade
Jam
Butter
Honey

2 Large pots of tea
4 large orange juice

1 tooth pick

All eaten by 1 fat greedy git at our hotel today.

I doubt if i could walk if i attempted to eat even half of that ammount.

Got my just rweards?

2011-03-25T15:02:00.004Z

Anyone in the trade will know what these vouchers are, but for those that dont every time you buy a Nestle product you get a voucher, great!! well i have been saving them now for a few years and registering them on the web site no problem anyway i thought this week that i would have a browse through the catalogue to see what special treat i could buy with all the vouchers that i have saved (a few thousand or so).

As i started to run through all the goodies on offer Ipod, iphone, 4 ipad, a luxury spa weekend away for me and mrs hotel, a 4 x 4 driving weekend, parachute jumping etc etc. i then noticed the number of vouchers you needed for all theese fab items and then realised what we could get. A SET OF SODDING PASTRY CUTTERS!!!!!!!!!!.

HMMMMMMMMMMM

Why would someone from Bangor want a room Here?

2011-03-23T11:13:00.002Z

And will there be anything else, sir?" the bellboy asked after setting out an elaborate dinner for two.
"No thank you," the gentleman replied. "That will be all."

As the young man turned to leave, he noticed a beautiful satin negligee on the bed. "Anything for your wife ?" he asked.
"Yeah! That's a good idea," the fellow said. "Please bring up a postcard."

Its not the first time its happened and they never make it to breakfast as they have usualy gone by 9pm HMMM

Sh** Hits the fan

2011-03-14T08:51:00.003Z

When the Sh** hits the fan its not normaly a problem as the saniflows seem to cope ok we only have a few in the hotel now, but there are 1 or 2 rooms where it is impossible to take them out, 1 week in and we already have one blocked by toilet wipes, WHY OH WHY do guests ignore the notices and throw stuff down the bog that should go in the bin.

Are they stupid, ignorant, or just dong give a shit, if only they had to take one apart end clean it out they would im sure change their ways.

What a nice day:)

2011-03-08T11:56:00.003Z

Well we have had a few great days as far as the weater is concerned, and the bookings are coming in niceley.

I think i will go and have a nice ride on the tram up the orme!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS CLOSED!

True or not??

2011-03-04T15:33:00.004Z

Hotel Translations

What do all those misleading descriptions of hotels really mean? i have provided a translation list, which from experience, seems to be quite true! Look at the phrase on the left and the translation is on the right!

Old world charm ................................. No bath
Tropical ............................................. Rainy
Majestic setting ................................. A long way from town
Secluded hideaway ............................ Impossible to find or get to
Pre-booked rooms .......................... Already occupied
Explore on your own ........................... Pay for it yourself
Knowledgeable hosts .................... big headed know it all owner
No extra fees ..................................... No extras available
Nominal fee ....................................... Outrageous charge
Standard ........................................... Sub-standard
Deluxe .............................................. Standard
Superior ............................................ One free shower cap
Cozy ................................................. Small
All the amenities ................................ Two free shower caps
Plush ................................................ Top and bottom sheets
Gentle breezes .................................. Occasional Gale-force winds
Light and airy ..................................... No air conditioning or heating

Picturesque ....................................... Theme park nearby
Open bar ........................................... Free ice cubes
Concierge ....................................... Stand with tourist brochures
Continental breakfast ..................... Free roll
Vegatairians catered for .................. Dry toast (serves em right)
Towels on the end of each bed.............. Hiding the stains on the duvet
Cooked breakfast................................... Boiled eggs
24hr Reception .................................. The owner lives downsatairs

Onwards and upwards

2011-03-02T12:47:00.003Z

Well that's it holiday over for another year, the hotel is ready to go for another season, all the major work we had planned is now finished rooms all ready and all we need now is some punters.

bookings are coming in at a steady pace even with the stupid vat uplift it pisses me off to think that for every ten guests staying with us the cost of 2 of them goes straight to the vat man, that's without all the other bloody taxes and rates etc its no wonder why you hear stories of credit card machines not working and cash only signs on receptions.

i just had a call from some bod asking me if i was going to vote in the yes no thing, why would i vote yes? give them more powers to create useless jobs and offices that we dont need,everytime i drive past the assembley building at junction i think what has that done for me as a resident or buisness owner in north Wales?.
Bugger all is the answer.

Oh well lets see who can get me wound up first this year Mrs hotel has got a big padlock ready to stuff me in the shed if i get to wound up, id better behave myself and get ready for it.

Miserable old hotel Git

ALH ADVERTISING SCAM WELSH HOTELS CONTACT ME

2011-01-04T11:24:00.000Z

I AM ASKING ANY HOTEL OWNERS IN WALES TO CONTACT THE BLOG IF THEY HAVE BEEN ASKED BY THIS COMPANY TO PAY ANY MONEY PLEASE E-MAIL IN CONFIDENCE

Below is an e-mail that i had re this scam it is all self explanatory please use this information to help stop this scam ripping of more people by contacting this organisation.

Dear Sir/Madam,

As way of introduction :

We are a Regional Fraud Investigation Unit for Trading Standards covering the South East of England - funded by the OFT

One of our priorities is to investigate ' get rich quick schemes' that span the region

I note that you have a number of entries on your blog site re ALH Advertising.

ALH has been referred to us by Hampshire Trading Standards and I am in the process of collating information.

If possible could someone contact me to discuss our concerns.

Thank you for your co operation.

Graham Thompson
Regional Fraud Unit
Office 01372 371687
Mobile 07968 834629

Shocking Way To Do Business

2010-12-10T11:01:00.006Z

Its that time of the year when i have to spend days getting qoutes for gas and electricity for the hotel for next year,you would think that these companies would bend over backwards to get your custom but alas, they dont seem to give a toss!!!

Qoute from Scotish Power im sorry but we are unable to offer you a price as you use to much gas at your hotel.

Sod me i must remember that one next time i go to the pub not to tell the landlord how much i drink in case he stops serving me as i spend to much with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>>

BEWARE SCAM!!

2010-10-11T09:01:00.000+01:00

I dont bloody belive it i have another invoice from this scam company it still has the same return address on it pobox 155 Ryde po33 9bp

Cant the police or trading standards do something about it for gods sake its been going on for years!! another hotelier e-mailed me today saying he had another one a year after the first one then bugger me i get one this week too.

I wonder how many unsuspecting buisnesses have paid up.

Looks like a new batch of this rip off have been dispatched i first published tis in march and have had 4 posts this week.

We had an invoice today from a company called A.L.H ADVERTISING POBOX 155 RYDE PO33 9BP
the invoice is for £49.95AND IS FOR ADVERTISING IN A UK HOTEL LISTING. i tried to cll them today THERE IS NO SUCH NUMBER AND THIS IS A SCAM DO NOT PAY THIS BILL

I am now getting e-mails from all over the country about this scam BEWARE,

Reflections

2010-09-29T11:52:00.004+01:00

Not been a bad year so far, my figures tell me that we are up on last year and chatting to a few other hotel owners the picture is about the same we must be doing something right but i cant for the life of me think what it is!!.

And now its starting to look like winter is on its way, i bet some of the shops on Mostyn st have already got some tinsel on display, i wonder where i will be when i hear the first carol or Christmas song being played.

Some of the things that remind me that the festive season is on its way my top ten

1. Tack starting to appear in the shops.

9. you can get a parking space anywhere on Mostyn st.

8. Our monthly supplies of toilet rolls is down to about 1 lorry load a week

7. Almost every guest is asking me what i have done to the weather

6. Mrs Hotel starts to disappear around 1130am and stays out until about 3pm then comes home having purchased nothing (so she says)

5.I am now allowed to get a cough or cold or in fact any thing that may render me unfit to work for a day or two.

4. the traffic wardens are getting hungry as there normal prey becomes extinct

3. I think about losing some weight for my holidays HA HA HA.

2.The fireworks display on the prom will be on and off and on and off like a light switch.

1.The log fire is lit at the pub and you can smell it on the way there.hmmmmmm

Trip Advisor in court with Welsh Hotel

2010-09-17T11:11:00.005+01:00

The following is taken from the Caernarfon Herald

A HOTELIER is set to join hundreds of hotels and restaurants in a court case against a well known travel website.

Louis Naudi of the Royal Sportsman Hotel in Porthmadog is one of many business owners in the UK and US who claim that customer reviews posted on TripAdvisor are defamatory.

The website, which claims to be the world’s number one travel site, allows users to post their own reviews after visiting a hotel or restaurant, but Mr Naudi believes that many comments posted about his hotel are false and malicious, and damage the reputation of his hotel.

He said: “I’ve put my life and soul into this business for the past 12 years, and I believe the customer is always right. The problem with this website is that comments can be posted without any proof. People with a grudge can write whatever they want anonymously.

“If the complaints are justified, we can act on them and remedy them, but some of the postings about the hotel are quite frankly fraudulent. I believe some people have colluded with each other to give us a bad review. I’ve already managed to get one last year retracted, where the person even paid my legal costs after I proved that his complaint was a fabrication.

“TripAdvisor don’t follow their own guidelines. They allow users to post reviews even when they haven’t visited an establishment, and don’t investigate complaints when they say they will. They should have the courtesy to investigate and respond accordingly.

“One customer threatened me with blackmail, saying he would post a bad review on the site if I didn’t give him a free room.

“81% of the reviews of our hotel on the site are positive, but when the other 19% have statements which are not true how are we supposed to remedy them?”

Over 400 hotels and restaurants have indicated they will come together to join a group defamation action against TripAdvisor.

Chris Emmins of online reputation management firm KwikChex.com is leading the action. He told Caterer and Hotelkeeper magazine that businesses were “fed up with what they alleged were unfair or false reviews on the site”.

“TripAdvisor is pro-actively influencing consumers by sending out e-mails to its members with subject lines like, Don't Go There – Hotel Horror Stories.”

A TripAdvisor spokeswoman said: “We believe our more than 35 million reviews and opinions are authentic and honest from real travellers, which is why we enjoy tremendous user loyalty and growth. If the reviews people read didn’t paint an accurate picture, users would not keep coming back.

“Our advice when reading through the reviews of a property is to throw out the anomalies that appear overly critical or overly complimentary. What is left is the collective wisdom of the community.”

kevin.white

Its about time someone did something about this site all it needs is guest verification to make it a credible outfit simple as that!!!

Hotelier

http://www.caernarfonherald.co.uk/caernarfon-county-news/local-caernarfon-news/2010/09/16/porthmadog-hotel-owner-set-to-sue-travel-website-tripadvisor-88817-27276290/

HMMMMM Trip Advisor Debate

2010-09-15T14:05:00.001+01:00

Is it possible that Trip Advisor is generating bad reviews by employing people or technical means? When a bad review is posted, it not only has the offended business checking the site, but all the competitors in the area check on it too.

If this is true, then just think of all the thousands or millions of hits that are generated by this practice alone. Doesn't TA use these numbers to convince us of their validity and to also attract advertisers?

TA is ripe for abuse...who is watching them?

Trading standard needs to do a full investigation into TA- What they state they are doing, their fair or unfair trade practices and if what they are doing is indeed legal.

Anyone can place a bad review on Trip Advisor. Anyone can file a complaint with Trading Standards. It is very easy to do, but unlike TA, you need to give a real name and real information.

I highly suggest anyone with concerns about TA place a formal complaint with their local office so they become accountable for their actions.

24 hour service?

2010-09-01T13:17:00.002+01:00

Here's a guest comment entry sent to me

I have noticed that the comment "24 hour room service" on your in-room menu seems to refer to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive.

We won’t disclose the hotel in question.

HOLIDAY FOR A LOAD OF BANKERS!!!

2010-08-31T12:43:00.002+01:00

As well as the stories below sent to me today we had the joy of 1 trashed bed due to a bed wetter one compete set of bedding including quilt ruined by about ten gallons of orange juice being thrown everywhere, a smashed bedside lamp broken by an alcoholic sleep walker,who kindly left us about a hundred empty beer bottles in the room oh joy of joys.!!!

Hi XXXXXXXXXXXX

just another day at the mill----------------

10.30am guests checking out.

Guest " I know your notice says that our cars have to be out of the car park by 12 noon but can we leave them until about 7.00pm as we want to spend the day on the beach and there is no point in setting off early on Bank Holiday Monday we will just get stuck in traffic"?

Receptionist " Unfortunately we are full tonight and the guests arriving in the five rooms that your party occupy will want to park there
five cars in the car park when they arrive"

Guest " But we will be gone by 7.00pm"

Receptionist (with a smile) " I am sorry sir we haven't got the space"

2

1.30pm Telephone call

Caller " Hello have you got a room available for the 24th October for one night"

Receptionist " Yes we do"
Caller " Do you have a car park?"
Receptionist " We do"
Caller " Oh good, I want to park a Jeep and a very long trailer"
Receptionist "How long?"
Caller " A glider in a trailer"
Receptionist ( knowing that we only have enough spaces "I don't think we would be able to accommodate a trailer that large"
Caller " We can you give me the number of another hotel with a car park?"
Receptionist " Yes of course I can its is xxxxxxxxxxx ( thinking they can sort this one out)
Caller "and where is that hotel"
Receptionist " Its here in Llandudno about XXXXXyds away from us"
Caller " But I don't really want to go to Llandudno I want to go to Chester do you know the phone number of a hotel with a car park in Chester?"
An exasperated receptionist who knows that Chester is 50 miles away " I'm sorry I don't, but you could try the internet"

4.00pm a ring on the reception bell.

At the counter is the grandmother from room 9 ( staying in the room are grandmother, mother and 9 yr old son)

Receptionist " Hi what can I do for you?"

Guest " Our Stephen has got his grade 3 trumpet exam on Thursday and he is very good you know he can play some great tunes, can he practice in our room for his exam???????????????????????

Stunned Receptionist " Errrrrrrm, I Don't think so, its now 4 O'clock and people are starting to come back to the hotel for an afternoon rest before going our for the evening.

Guest " I will understand if you say no but he does need to practice for Thursday and he doesn't need to do it right now I was just asking in general for while we are here?"

A slightly more composed receptionist " No I'm sorry I don't think so"

Guest " But he is very good you would really enjoy it"

A more certain and confident Receptionist " No I'm sorry we are full with xx guests in the Hotel I couldn't allow one person to disrupt all the other people no matter how good he plays.

--------------------------------

As I said just another day at the mill

XXXXX

Vacancy For Hotel owner

2010-08-25T11:59:00.002+01:00

I got chatting to a couple of guests the other day and they mentioned that they were thinking of buying a place in Llandudno and wanted to pick my brains on what it was like, he was thinking of giving up work and becoming a small Hotel owner so he could play more golf.

After i got back up off the floor and changed my underpants as i had pissed myself laughing i started to think about what was involved and what skills they would need.

Here is a list of the ones i could think of please send me any i may have forgot

Chef,Kitchen Porter,Dish Washer,Waiter,receptionist,Chambermaid,Cleaner,Restaurant Manager,Plumber,Painter,Carpet Fitter,Electrician,Joiner,decorator,Plasterer,Laundry Manager,Housekeeper,Telephonist,Computer Engineer,Marketing Manager,Delivery Driver,Stock Controller,Buyer,Designer,TV Repair man,Washing Machine Repair Man,Booking Clerk,Tourist information Clerk,Weatherman,Stress Councillor,Marriage Guidance Councillor,Golf course expert,restaurant Critic,Paperboy, Alarm Clock,Travel advisor,Traffic Reporter,Locksmith,Accountant,Book Keeper,Entertainer,Barman,Security Guard,Gardner,Concierge.

Then when you have done all that in a morning you can play Golf in the afternoon,
They went straight home and looked forward to their weekend off,when they could wake up on a Sunday morning lie in bed and read the papers with coffee toast and orange juice. AHHH i remember that

Im often asked wich Hotel i run

2010-08-21T12:11:00.001+01:00

GRIDLOCK!

2010-08-19T16:54:00.007+01:00

I cant believe how bad the traffic has been around town this last week or so every afternoon from about 3pm ish its like a bloody nightmare trying to get anywhere why?
is it because of Masdeu bridge? all i know is that it took me almost 45 Min's to get from 1 end of Mostyn st to the other, i have driven round London faster than i can drive around Llandudno at the moment years ago we had traffic wardens and their job was to keep the traffic flowing, now its their job to piss people off and earn money for the council.

They will give anyone a ticket except if you park just at the entrance to the prom right on the bend by the prom inspectors hut you can block the road there all day as long as you have a blue badge i watched a strapping 6 foot 6 guy carry both his kids out of the car with buckets and spades throw the blue badge on the dashboard and sod off on to the beach.

Now don't get me wrong if you are disabled you should be able to park your car in a special place but not on double yellow lines on a bend at the entrance to the busiest road in town if there is a need for a large area of disabled parking the town then bays should be made available in the pay and display area and they should still pay! everyone else does, what we have created is now the unofficial blue badge parking area by not moving them on.

Room D Service

2010-07-30T13:00:00.001+01:00

Room Service - Tenjewberrymuds Funny Room Service

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room-service at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review:

To get the full effect it should be read aloud. [You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.]

Room Service (RmSv): Morrin. Roon sirbees.
Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service.

RmSv: Rye...Roon sirbees...morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen?
Guest: Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs.

RmSv: Ow July den?
Guest: What??

RmSv: Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?
Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please.

RmSv: Ow July dee baykem? Crease?Funny toast
Guest: Crisp will be fine.

RmSv: Hokay. An Sahn toes?
Guest: What?

RmSv: An toes. July Sahn toes?
Guest: I don't think so.

RmSv: No? Judo wan sahn toes??
Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.

RmSv: Toes! toes!... Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?
Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine.

RmSv: We bodder?
Guest: No...just put the bodder on the side.

RmSv: Wad?
Guest: I mean butter... just put it on the side.

RmSv: Copy?

Guest: Excuse me?
RmSv: Copy...tea...meel?

Guest: Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all.
RmSv: One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy...rye?

Guest: Whatever you say.
RmSv: Tenjewberrymuds.

Guest: You're very welcome.

Dogs are Welcome

2010-07-29T13:43:00.003+01:00

A letter written to us

I would very much like to bring my dog with me to stay at your Hotel

He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?'

My reply

'Dear Mr XXXXXXXXX, I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out of the hotel without paying the bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.'

Reply to World Traveler Anon

2010-07-23T11:50:00.002+01:00

Thought i just had to reply to this one i dont normally but could not resist

Aanonymous said...

Thank you for your comments - reminds me why I would never holiday in this country - you simply do not understand the whole ethos of service industry.

23 July 2010 00:46

That,s right Anon

Much better to go abroad we went away this year it was great! having spent 2 hours getting to Manchester we had to pay £65.00 to park our car in a shit hole in Stockport then wait 25Min's for a poxy minibus to take us the 10 miles to the airport then Que up with 400 others to get rid of our undersized suitcases and be grilled over the contents and weight by a 16 year old spotty git who could not even make eye contact with me.

After that we had the joy of security if anyone knows me by now they will now i don't have much sympathy with vegetarians but if anything made me think about animal cruelty it is going through security at an airport you are herded together in a pen like area 1000 at a time stripped of all that is personal to you made to take of your shoes glasses belts jewelery etc all drinks confiscated and then sent through an electro magnetic device that may or may not make you sterile and bugger up your camera.

The next joy that awaits you is the shopping centre that is almost as big as Cheshire Oaks, selling everything in the world you can think of even a Ferrari,if by then you have any money left you can Que up for another hour to by a cardboard sandwich at £6.50 and a Coke for £3.50 and try with all the other sheep to find a table or a chair to sit at and admire all the other men's new trainers that their wives made them buy to go away in.

3 hours after that your flight appears on a tv screen telling you to make your way to gate number 97 that is 3.6 miles away, by the time you get there all the other 350 passengers have beaten you to it so you spend another hour standing looking at the aluminium tube that will be your home for the next 5-hours or so, eventually they call your flight starting with row 1-6 but you are in row 78!! but its OK because as the girl on the tannoy said they are doing it that way for your comfort and enjoyment (BULLSHIT).

At Last they call your seats Whoopee, you Que up behind the family from hell with 9 kids just knowing that they will be sitting with you and after fighting your way to the back of the plane past every git who insists on standing in the isles until the plane takes of, and as you go passed the rows of seated couples they all give you that stare as if to say hurry up you old git we are waiting for you, finally you get to your 6.9inches of seat collapse into it only to be told that you have to get up again and let the little kid into the window seat who is with the hell family.

After that you have to endure the screeching trolley dolly telling you all about the Paco Rabane offer that's an amazingly low price, just for today (how lucky are we?)the child from hell starts kicking the back of your seat the 22 stone dad in front reclines his seat to within half an inch of your face! and you just wish you had gone to Devon.

As the tube finally propells you at 600 miles an hour the isles get blocked permanently for the whole duration of the flight so that if you want the loo you have to face the glare of the bitch with the trolley who will get you back for putting her out by taking your knee cap of when you sit down with her truck, full of plastic planes and nuts, that's after she has charged yo £23.00 for the smallest coke and beer you have ever seen and announced to the whole plane that the pringles are on offer today at an amazing price of JUST £5.00.

Then the gourmet meal that Raymond Blanc is supposed to have created gets wheeled out (BULLSHIT) even Raymond cant do 300 meals in an hour' and then you get a box that will not fit on the stupid table that you cant get down anyway cos it gets stuck on your neck on the way down after an hour of wrestling with the stupid table you start unpacking this huge boxed meal 1 plastic cup 1 plastic fork 1 plastic spoon salt pepper a serviette that smells of pepper a butter pat jam marmalade creamer sugar a stirring stick a bowl of orange juice a bloody yogurt that's the size of your thumb nail a golf ball sized roll that's in a plastic bag that's blown up like a sodding balloon that flies out of the box,
the meal is described as a gourmet delight in fact it turns out to be 2 chipolata sausages a dollop of instant smash 6 bullet peas and a squirt of gloop, but its OK cos yo cant eat it anyway as your neighbors elbow is in your face anyway.

Finally the plane lands and the insincere bitch that's taken your knee of tells you that the time has changed and it has been a pleasure to have us on board today and she cant wait to see us again in a week!or 2.

Then as the plane stops she rants at all the impatient gits who just have to be first off the plane and have stood up and are getting their bags from the overhead lockers that now contain deadly items that are going to Mame or kill you if you open them.

as you are last of the plane then jump on the dangerously overcrowded bus to the terminal you Que up for 6 hours as a slimy git with a moustache checks all the passports in case some one got on board the flight while you were between the body scanner at Manchester and him, next the luggage reclaim its like a sodding stampede of angry bulls at an abattoir, your case comes of last but your wife's case came of first (how does that work).

FINALLY YOU ARE THERE AND FREE WHOOPPPEEEE.

THIS IS THE ETHOS OF THE SERVICE INDUSTRY THAT I DONT UNDRSTAND HAAAAAAAA

NO THANKS I THINK I WILL STAY HERE NEXT TIME EVEN IF ITS RAINING AND THE HOTEL OWNER IS A MISERABLE GIT LIKE ME

Warning Rain Can Be Bad For Your Health!!

2010-07-22T12:26:00.002+01:00

The next person that comes up to me at breakfast and says, Well! What have YOU done to the weather??, i swear to god i am going to give them a smack in the Gob!, as if its my sodding fault!, i can take the blame for most things but this one I'm not prepared to have.

As David Cameron tries to make the special relationship with the Americans better both me and BP are doing our best to bugger it up for him.

Yesterday we had a group of 6 Americans staying with us, i could tell that all was not well as they were not drinking there usual 20 gallons of orange juice and ice every day, about 1130am one of them came to reception and said that they were going to leave a day early as one of their parents was about to pass away and anyway the weather was not very good and they were going to move on,so could they get a refund on the unused night, now I'm a totally miserable git but if it had been genuine i would have considered a refund, but make your sodding mind up is your mother dying or are you pissed of with the weather?, anyway as usual i sent Mrs Hotel to sort it out as she is far better at that sort of thing than me, i tend to do a Basil Faulty and request a copy of the death certificate before i give them the cash back.

After having a chat and pretending to be all sympathetic i heard her say oh I'm so sorry about that, its not a problem i will give you an invoice claim form for you to get a refund from your insurance company, that stumped them! all of a sudden they didn't have any insurance and would not be able to claim as the were not due to go home for another 2 weeks!

So now they are not insured their mother is going to die in a fortnight the weather is crap and we wont give them a refund it is now 1200 and we have no chance of selling all 3 rooms for 1 night even if we can turn them around in double quick time.

SO BE WARNED DON'T TRAVEL WITHOUT INSURANCE especially if its wet!!!!!

Welcome to the silly season!!

2010-06-16T14:28:00.002+01:00

The silly season has started already, here are a few requests and complaints so far this year

1 can we smoke on the fire escape?

Answer, NO you stupid great twit! that's why its a fire escape, so that if some daft git smokes in the hotel and sets it on fire we can all get out.

2 can you remove all the lamp shades in my room as i don't like the low energy bulbs and find it difficult to read at night.

Answer, yes of course madam and would you like me to install sodding search lights and towers while i am at it!!

3 at 1145pm my wife cant sleep in this room as there appears to be water running through the radiators and its annoying, can you stop it or move us to another room?.

Answer of course sir just wait at reception and i will start building a new room right away or alternatively here are the keys to the shed its Nice and cold in there and there is defiantly no water to annoy you.

4 can you give me the dialing code for POWYS and can i use your phone to make the call as i have been told it costs a lot to use mobiles when you are on holiday.

Answer no problem sir the code is 0800 have a nice day!!!!!

5 can i have a full English breakfast? but no sausage no beanz no mushrooms no tomato and no egg oh and just 1 slice of bacon.

Answer of course madam any toast? oh no thanks!

6 (Americans) can you tell me where the horse drawn canal barges go from? i have looked all over town and can find them anywhere i know that you have them as i have read about them.

Answer i think sir has programmed his sat nav wrongly and should try Llangollen!!!!

Just a few of the crazy things we have been asked so far i will no doubt have a few more by september.

4am Wake up call

2010-05-08T12:03:00.003+01:00

Got woke up at 4am this morning by someone ringing the bell at reception it was a young man stood there in his shorts swaying from side to side holding his key in his hand and mumbling that his key no longer fits the room that he is staying in,having checked the key and the 12 foot fob that it was attached to i gently led him to the front door, that had been left open by inconsiderate smokers all night (GITS) and pointed him towards the hotel that he was booked into, nowhere near us and some distance down the prom,how the hell he had managed to be so far from where he was staying is unbelievable.

He had truly lost his way and was going to stay in our place, somewhere that he had no right to be, and it got me thinking while i was trying without success to get back to sleep, was his name Gordon? after all he spent a fair time arguing and saying that he had every right to be here as all his Friends were also staying with us and he was prepared to do anything if he could stay he even offered to pay again!! i bet if i had asked him he would have offered to change the electoral system in this country if i had let him stay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Remind you of anyone???????????????

Cardboard Monsters!!!!

2010-05-03T11:33:00.003+01:00

Phew!!!!!

Glad that's all over with no major problems apart from 1 rouge TV that jumped off the wall all by itself, and a couple who appeared to be eating toilet rolls for breakfast dinner and lunch, We Know that they did because they ate the little cardboard tube that's inside the toilet roll, normally guests throw them in the bin and when they dont we know that they have eaten them and they eat a lot!!!

What is nice is that every room is already sold for next year all repeats it'a a good job i stayed out of the way for most of the weekend, as Mrs Hotel tells me that its best for me and best for the business if i go to the pub and enjoy myself SUITS ME! trouble is the bloody pub was so busy i had to sit outside and it got bloody cold by Midnight.

Now for some serious stuff this week and the big question COMPO, FOGGY, OR CLEGGY,
i have to say that not one of them has said anything to make me go and vote i wish we had a system where you could vote for who you don't want to be in i would be ok then as i could vote for all of them.

Maybe i could start a new party THE HOTELIERS AND PUBS PARTY sounds good bring your own balloons and silly string!!!!!!.

Extravaganza

2010-04-28T15:36:00.002+01:00

While i do enjoy the extravaganza and think all in all it is very good for the town, i must say that I'm not looking forward to the chaos that will ensue this weekend with the traffic everything will have to be stocked up for 4 days by Thursday, or else we have had it! imagine trying to get to Bookers on Saturday morning don't bother,the only way i would be able to get there is to dress up in a nice PINK two piece outfit with a nice pink brimmed hat hop into the Bentley and get a police escort.

Even then when i got back it would take me about 10 hours to find a parking spot that is unless you happen to work in one of the following departments,

The Town Hall private car park
The Job Centre Private car park
The Police station ------------

And then there are the jobsworths who patrol the prom in their little Hitler uniforms telling cyclists off and being a general nuisance sat in their bunker sipping tea, how come they can park their cars on the prom!! no bugger else can,
why is that if you work for a government department you get free parking and if you work at a shop or cafe /hotel tough shit! find you own parking spot.

When Betty and Phill came yesterday i thought its a pity they don't come every day as a result all the streets would be polished the flower beds would be perfect Venue Cymru would get cleaned every day and when i want to go to the shops i could just slip the Mondeo behind the 600 Police men on motorbikes and follow her to Asda.

Have a Good Weekend

Enough is Enough

2010-04-15T19:47:00.003+01:00

Right that's it

I have had about as much as i can take from those buggers in Iceland,
First they nick all our cod back in the 70s so now we have to eat Rock salmon! then they nick all our money in their dodgy Banks, then they shower us in bloody clouds of sand and gravel bugger all our airports up and cause guests to cancel their weekend breaks to Llandudno in case the Mondeo breaks down on the M6 with a blocked air filter!!!.

Well that's it i have had enough next time im in their shop getting some Kippers, and frozen peas im gonna leave all their freezer doors open so all the food defrosts, Lets see how they like it!!!!!!!!!.

And So The Parking Nightmare Continues.

2010-04-13T12:43:00.002+01:00

With a good Easter under the belt and some great weather the month is starting to look good for us, and a few others i have spoken to.

However the parking monster has now reared its ugly head again, below is a small clip taken from Trip Advisor, ignoring the bad attitude of the staff at this particular Hotel (GRADED BY VISIT WALES) this is the impression that visitors have of the town.

Don't stay here if you are travelling by car, and don't be fooled by the advice on the website to pre-book your car parking space, because I did all that and even rang up the night before to double check, and was told exactly where to go with the car and knock on the blue door etc etc, and even though I did all that, navigating the smallest and tightest entry I have ever seen to a hotel car park. I got to reception to check in....well...where should I start.
I was greeted by two men on the reception, I gave them my booking details and that I had pre-booked my parking space, ready to be given the sacred key to unlock the parking bollard, as I was told the night before, well..he just smirked and told me there were no spaces available and had been pre-booked 12 months before (there are only 9 spaces)
I explained I had pre-booked at the time of booking or I wouldn't have chosen that hotel and had even spoken to the hotel the night before and she had confirmed my space, so what had happened?????
Obviously the reception staff give false hope just to get you to book the rooms.
For anyone who has never been to Llandudno before, the on street parking is a nightmare. And from mid April, you will have to pay at the meter.

SO What is being done about this ongoing problem NOTHING!!!! the hotels and guest houses without parking are looking forward to another year of complaints, another year of guests moaning at check in and check out, about the lack of spaces and of parking tickets being slapped onto visitors cars as a welcome from Conwy.

Why not put some thought into solving the problem instead of constantly punishing those that come here to support the local economy,everywhere i go in this town there are signs telling me everything that i am not allowed to do NO THIS NO THAT NO THE OTHER, how about some positive signage that tells visitors some things that they CAN do for a change.

Why not make the 2 car parks on Gloddaeth Free parking and encourage the shoppers to park there freeing up valuable spaces on the side roads, How about a park and ride scheme.

One thing is for sure this problem is not going away it will get worse until something is done about it or until the towns reputation gets so bad that nobody will come here anymore, OR IS THAT WHAT SOME IN POWER WOULD LIKE.

The joys of a Hotel Owner

2010-04-07T09:08:00.002+01:00

The following was sent to me by a fellow HOTEL Owner. after a very nice meal in Llandudno the other night.

thanks for arranging a nice night last night. I am sorry if it appeared we rushed off, we had some guests staying who by their own admission were 'going out to get totally wasted' so we wanted to be back for 11.30, indeed at 12 they returned duly shit faced!

Anyway after making a load of noise when getting back, soiling the sheets, being sick in the bathroom and breaking the toilet seat they have departed.

Room sold for: £62

less commission £9.50
less towels & sheets £5.00
less breakfast x 2 (they ate EVERYTHING!) £7.00
less toilet seat £25.00
less all the condiments stolen from the room £1.50

costs for room before wages, water & heating £48.00

Money made - £5? £10?

Plus our evening was cut short

Hope they come back.

Spelling Bully

2010-04-05T11:00:00.002+01:00

I got this today and think that the person who wrote it is a bit of a sad git with nothing else to do, he calls himself guyincognito actualy i tried to look this word up in the dictionary and there is no such word.(strange that)

He posted it on my blog then a few minutes later deleted it (strange again)

My old headmaster would have called him a smart arse i call him someone who probably works for the council.

Sir,

I must congratulate you on a most enjoyable read. I knew I was going to be in for a good time as soon as I read your blog description; it must take a very special person to fail to notice, or simply not care, that what he has written is incoherent, grammatically incorrect and misspelt. Of course we all make mistakes, in fact I'm sure if you read my blog (or indeed this post) you may find some errors there also, but I'm sure very few of us would keep them in our blog header.

Again, I think we must also question somebody who also makes similar mistakes in another permanent part of their blog, the 'about me' section. Now, please, when you are referring to yourself in the first-person use a capital letter,'I'; Blogger has very kindly automatically changed this for you when you have used it after a full-stop but it's not going to help you out in the middle of one of you muddled sentences. Please, also, try and not confuse present, past, and future tense -it's taken, not took, if you're talking about the past.

As for pointless government departments does that extended to schools and public libraries? I only ask as it appears, and I'm only taking this from your poor grasp of the English language, that you have been badly served by both.

Anyway, keep up the good work. Gareth Williams

Get your Own House In Order

2010-04-02T12:37:00.002+01:00

Reading with interest the piece in the Weekly News and the Pioneer about the antics of some local drivers who persistently drive down the tram tracks breaking the law.

The following is taken from the above publications

Regulars setting a bad example to tourists unfamiliar with the area, is fraught with danger,” he added.

Neil Jones, tramway manager, claimed the main offenders are taxi drivers. He said: “As we’re just starting up for the 2010 season it’s an opportune time to remind drivers of the regulations, because there’ll be up to 40 trams a day using this route. Please keep the tracks clear during operating hours.”

Well Mr Jones maybe you should start with the Flatbed white truck that your own workers use the one that's always parked outside the Kings Head as a Friend of mine was walking down the tram tracks the other morning at 0930am the truck come hurtling down the road and nearly runs them over A FINE EXAMPLE YOU ARE SETTING to visitors how come you can drive down it and nobody else, how come you have POLICE cones on your truck i thought only the police were able to use them (or are they borrowed).

Why cant the whole lot be made a one way system anybody that has to drive up TY Gwyn will no that it is a nightmare during the summer months and now that Arriva seem to have lost all the small buses that used to go up the Orme it is even worse, i waited for 15 Min's the other day as the bus was stuck cos a driver refused to reverse and nobody could move.

A simple system of lights would stop all the problems and all would run smoothly.

NEWSFLASH!!!!!!

2010-04-01T09:45:00.002+01:00

Someone from the council just came round and asked if as a ratepayer i was happy with everything, he then helped the bin men load all our waste into the bin lorry and even picked up all the little bits that fell on the floor! he then said i have to rush now we have a major clean up operation going on in town so that all the easter visitors get a good impression of the town and go home and tell everyone else about it.

He then gave a cheery wave and ran off smiling.

Thursday 1st April 0930.

Tiddely Om Pom Pom

2010-03-31T15:50:00.003+01:00

I doubt the brass band will be playing on the prom this weekend i just had a stroll down it and it looks like a sodding war zone, i wonder how long it will be before it gets cleaned up,

The Bleeding traffic wardens are still as active as ever popping tickets on all the cars they can get their grubby little hands on but not one council worker in sight to start the clean up or move some of the rubbish that's now littering the whole place.

Stop moaning you silly old bugger, i hear 1 or 2 of you say(its an act of nature that cant be helped) Bullshit!!!, even i could have guessed when i watched tons and tons of stone being tipped onto the beach over the last few days that something was a bit wrong Fact the highest spring tides of the year were due for this weekend low pressure means that the tides would be even higher than normal and severe North Easterly wind would cause havoc on the beach.

So why did nobody even think that this could happen, it happened a few years ago just after beach replenishment, but i guess they thought it would not happen again just in time for the Easter rush GREAT just what we needed,

I cant remember a quieter build up to the Easter holiday for a while and we still have 1 or 2 rooms left, this time last year we were full its a bit worrying, lets hope that the weather gods are kind to us and give us a good April.

New Task Force To Save Llandudno Hurah!!!

2010-03-16T12:51:00.001Z

Conwy CBC Press Release (early draft)

In our ceaseless quest to improve efficiency, we are pleased to announce that we propose to act on a clearly identified need to create a ‘one-stop’ corporate strategy for our dealings with the business community.

For too long, disparate attempts to inter-face with the business community have failed to ‘join-up’. For instance, trade waste costs have been determined by one department, planning enforcement by another, business rates administered by yet another, and so on.

It is now proposed that with effect from 1st April 2010 all these activities will be brought together under one over-arching administration.

The new department will be known as the Conwy Business Prevention Unit. It is tasked with being able to offer to any one business simultaneous a focused targeting, regulation, and inspection regime that will cover such diverse matters as :-
rodent control, noise, nuisance, trading in unauthorised goods, trades descriptions, signage, health and safety, grant awards, illegal waste disposal, energy inefficiency, under-occupation, over-occupation, non-occupation, discrimination, quality legislation
and many other facilities that our task force is still working on.

In this way, it is hoped that in Conwy, just as in Sparta, (where only really tough infants survived), weak ailing businesses can be terminated much earlier than has been possible hitherto, or, ideally, prevented altogether, thereby leaving space for more free growth of the strong healthy multi-national chains who, in our experience, do as they like anyway, which in turn saves us a job.

This new policy will naturally be the subject of extensive consultation , currently scheduled to take place in the second or third year of operation of the new scheme.

Llandudno Hotel owner to take control of council and implement these changes anytime in the next 20-25 years.

Mr Jobsworth is about

2010-03-14T16:48:00.002Z

Apparently the little Deli in upper Mostyn St by the London has been targeted by the Jobsworth brigade,the other day the couple who run it were busy trying to earn a few bob when in walks MR Job from the council and demands that they take the little A frame in advertising Coffee, and if they don't take it in then he will come back and fine them.

What kind of person is walking around this town looking for such major breaches of local bye laws? i can take them on a trip down any street in Llandudno and show them some of the shite holes that need cleaning up, and some of the mess that the council seem blind to, is it ok to sleep in a shop doorway with a dog and piss there, but not to advertise fresh coffee for sale? its hard enough these days to run any retail business without this kind of intimidation from a department of the council that have apparently got nothing else to do, GET YOU OWN HOUSE IN ORDER BEFORE YOU PICK ON THE INNOCENT WORKERS OF THIS TOWN.

People that are making a living for themselves and not scrounging from the state are easy targets, people who let there buildings fall into a state of total disrepair become an eyesore, and a danger to the public seem to be able to get away with everything.

We had one staying with us this weekend He decided that it was his duty to patrol the hotel turning all the sodding lights off! why? he wasn't even on the payroll i bet he worked for the council before he retired, i bet he thought it was his duty to interfere with things that should be left alone and ignore everything else.

The opera was in town as you all probably know this week, and to be honest it was great for business, we had some of the musicians staying with us and they said every night was packed at the theatre, Well done Venue Cymru we should have more stuff like that and fill the place up more often everyone benefits all the restaurant's were full and i know lots of other hotels were busy.

Bookings continue to come in at a good rate for the summer and i am confident we will have a good year we must make sure that we don't piss the punters of by giving all of them a parking ticket!!!!!!

Time is Running Out

2010-03-09T10:13:00.003Z

As another season approaches the council have done sod all about any of the eyesores around the town, the Clarence Hotel just gets worse at least when it was open it didn't attract as much attention as it does now, it is an absolute disgrace that the powers that be have done nothing about this its one of the first buildings that you see when you arrive in town.

The Pier pavilion saga continues, the railway station now looks like a bomb has gone of, and the Tudno Castle looks like a scene from the Blitz, another year for the council to sit and twiddle their fingers and do nothing to help this town.

All that will happen is that these places will get worse, are they waiting for some magician to come and wave a wand and make it all go away or are they just clueless to do anything.

They have been given the job of running this town and they are failing us with their lack of urgency on certain issues.

How much money has been spent on the white elephant at Junction, Millions of pounds have been pumped into a new building for the Assembly government WHY i didn't ask for it! and what good will it do me, as far as i can see none at all, there will be no benefit for me my business and my family.

Why couldn't the money have gone into the county for investment, maybe to build a major tourist attraction and help the businesses of the area, oh no that would have been a good idea and we can't have any of those!!.

I wonder how many meetings will be called this year by the various bodies involved in tourism, and they will all be asking the same question that they asked last year,How can we help you to get more people here? etc etc Bullshit, they will get the same answers and they will do nothing about it because they answer to no one they all work for cushy government departments, they are reccesion proof, and when they walk around this town and see the tramps asleep in the empty shop doorways and the derelict hotels, the beggers on the streets, who welcome our visitors and give a great impression of the Queen of welsh resorts they will go red with embaresment pull their collars up to hide their faces and walk on because their wages are already in the bank!, my wages on the other hand have not decided if they are coming to llandudno or not this year.

i will have to get everything right in my buisness or i wont get paid and my family will not eat i wont be able to use a lame excuse that actually i am trying to get my hotel nice, but you have to understand theese things take time Etc Etc NOT IN MY WORLD, i and other buisness owners will have to get it right RIGHT NOW TODAY.

Here We Go Again!!!

2010-03-04T15:33:00.002Z

Well as a new season approaches i have now packed the paint brushes away till next winter and got my Basil head back on.

Its always tough through the winter trying to spend money on the place and still try to live when there is practically no income, the tourist board VW as they now like to be known as which i always thought was a small German car, shaped like a Beetle would tell us that there is plenty of business all year and we should fight for our piece of the action, but the reality is that there is not enough to go round, the council must already know this as half of the attractions in town close down and hibernate for most of the winter.

As i clutch a large wad of Bills, demands, insurance renewals, fire alarm services,environmental health check ups Etc Etc and then look up at several parts of the building still need getting to the tax inspection that is pending, the Git who gave us a bad review on the Internet who had not even stayed with us and was pissed off because we were full for Extravaganza weekend, my young son walks past me and smiles and says OK DAD yep son i am, i put my arm around him and say, Hey son just look all this will be yours one day, GET LOST he says do i look stupid?? im not going to be a stress head like you.........

AHH well Better get the Vacancies turned so i can start Blogging Again

Basil

What A Load Of Rubbish!!!!

2010-01-12T09:11:00.003Z

We have separate refuse collections at the HOTEL 1 for the trade waste an 1 for our own domestic waste, now bear in mind that we have not had a domestic collection for almost 3 weeks the bin was getting pretty full with all the extra stuff you get over the festive period.

I have several times played the welsh extreme sport of BIN BOUNCING some of you will no doubt have tried it for yourself it is a particularly exiting and sometimes dangerous game of climbing on to the dustbin and bouncing as hard as you can avoiding any broken glass, food etc just to try and get another bag in, however this time i could only manage to get the lid to close to within 4 inches of the rim then comes part 2 of the game you put the bin out the night before and the sodding bin men don't turn up till 4pm the next day! however if you don't put it out on the evening they sodding well turn up at 5:30am causing utter panic in the bedroom, as you streak through the hotel almost naked in blind fear of them not collecting your bin and being stuck with it for another 2 weeks.

This Christmas however i was appalled at the actions of the council jobsworth who took the top bag out of the bin because the lid was sticking up by a few inches and dumped it on the pavement outside the result of this was that it was attacked by seagulls and ten minutes later its contents were flying all over Llandudno in the severe winds.

My point is, A, it took more effort and time to take the bloody bag out of the bin and leave it on the pavement than to leave it and B, caused more litter and mess that then had to be cleaned up by another council worker later on.

How petty and small minded can you be to do such a thing, as i walked round town that day i noticed several others that this had happened to, what idiot at the council authorised this stupid rule and if they didn't and the refuse collectors themselves decided on this stupid plan they should all be ashamed of themselves.

I have said it before and i will say it again if i ran my HOTEL like this Council run this town i would be bankrupt within weeks, we are the customers here and deserve some respect, i read in the weekly news an article entitled BIN RAGE where members of the public were apparently being rude and abusive to some council workers about refuse collections, i cant imagine what has caused this sudden outburst from the public! GIVE RESPECT AN YOU WILL GET RESPECTED.

Hotelier.......

Llandudno Hospitality Association

2009-12-29T14:55:00.002Z

The following e-mail was sent to me and i agree its daft that the LHA link takes you to this website and that,s why i posted it as a link it is taking the piss! that the Llandudno Hospitality Association dont have a web site and the link offers you hotels almost everywhere but HERE.

Your website link to Llandudno Hospitality Association is offering accommodation in London, Orlando and San Francisco. Is this of any use to Llandudno? Why doesn't LHA have a website I wonder? Perhaps they are the ones who could be taking a lead with providing Christmas entertainment in the town.
Best wishes for the New Year.

Peter Conwy

Merry Christmas To Almost Everyone!!

2009-12-23T22:49:00.003Z

God! i have been so busy getting into the festive mood i almost forgot to have a moan this week!

I would like to wish all the readers and hoteliers a merry christmas exept the git!! who invented digital tv! who is almost certainaly sitting in the west indies
sipping a coctail and enjoying the glorius sunshine, and a perfect picture on his sodding tv, having not thought about rain, snow, and storms that mean you will miss the final of come dancing and your wife will say it is your fault for buying a cheapo TV from Asda.

i have just come back from one of my little trips away, to sunny Bournmouth, what a plesure it was going to the main shopping area they had a German Christmas market with about 50 or 60 stalls selling everything All sorts, Frankfurters,Horse Chesnuts,Crepes,Beers,wines,Decorations,etc, They even had a full size Wooden pub with about 20 german beers, it was packed and full of Christmas cheer and atmospheere.

Why can they organise something so brilliant? and FREE! when all we get is a poor excuse on Mostyn Champneys that you have to pay to get into,Why can we not have a similar set up on upper Mostyn or even on the Prom, it would bring in much needed buisness at a slow time of the year and make the whole town Buzz.

There i go again dreaming of a place where the people who run the town, actualy have a brain!! and have a clue about what people want!. they should make it a rule that you can not have anything to do with being in charge of the council until you have actually made some money and run a buisness that has had some real positive effect on the town,! as far as i can see and in my opinion they are in need of a good lesson in how to run a piss up in a brewery!!!!!!!!!

1 Bad Apple in the Cart

2009-12-12T11:15:00.003Z

Well I'm back all refreshed from my break and ready to get cracking with the Christmas rush! bookings have been steady and we are now full for Christmas and nearly full for new year.

Whilst we have been off we took the opportunity to go and spy on a few Hotels we have been watching and enjoying the BBC2 documentary Hotel Stephanie, and decided to go and stay at one of their places, we had a brilliant deal the room we stayed in was supposed to be £180.00 but we got it for £59.00 BARGAIN!!! mind you i would have been disappointed if i had paid the full price, all in all it was great the staff at night were good and chatted to us about business etc,then at breakfast it all went a bit pear shaped, we had organised to be there at the same time as our friends but when we got to the dining room we were greeted by a surly eastern European waitress (well i assume she was a waitress) who just about managed to glance in our general direction and mutter something under her breath about SITTING DOWN,i asked if we could have a table for 4 as we would like to eat with our friends and the curt reply was NO YOU MUST SIT ON TABLE FOR 2 WE CANNOT MAKE TABLE FOR 4 NOW SIT!! ,I stood there in disbelief and looked around the almost empty dinning room at a whole host of tables for 4 but we were forced to sit on separate tables and spin round to have over the shoulder conversations with our friends.

It just goes to show no matter how much money no matter how much hard work you put into your business 1 bad apple can make it all worthless, as guests will always remember the last day and the last breakfast, and will always remember poor service even a poor hotel can be good if the staff are good you can sometimes overlook mistakes as long as there is a smile and a helpful manner.

Visit Wales will give stars based on phones in rooms and other useless rubbish but they should get their act together and start looking at the small Hotels that are run by the owners who are hungry and eager to please the guests and award stars for that.

I have a few e-mails telling me that harry is not coming now i don't know if he ever was to be honest i just heard it but that's rumors for you! a bit like the rumor that there would be fireworks on the prom this year what a total cock up if you tried to invent that story nobody would believe you, i could always take the mountain of sodding junk mail that i have to open, and burn it on the beach that would be good for a couple of hours.

As we move closer to Christmas Black Friday is just around the corner for those that don't know, its the day when you wont be able to get anywhere, cos everyone and his dog will be shopping like maniac nutters running up and down mostyn st like the end of the world is coming and all that is happening is the shops will be closed for 1 day.

I popped in the kings head for a beer the other night and there was me 2 others and a dog asleep by the fire it was great, next night we popped down for one and i had to fight my way to the bar it was about 6 deep poor old Geraint was sweating like a marathon runner, and serving 6 people at a time,i bought him a drink as i knew he wouldn't have time for it.

you try and get into asda next Friday or Saturday where the hell do all the people come from?, and while we are on the subject What the hell is it with Asda Why do all the old age pensioners and retired go shopping on a bloody Saturday or during lunch hour? they have all sodding week to go shopping they could go on Tuesday afternoon at 230pm or Wednesday at 9pm but no they bloody well go on Saturday block the aisles and stand there chatting to there next door neighbors who have also gone to piss everyone of by having a coffee morning right by the milk section,one miserable old git in a electric shopping cart comes screaming down the aisle bibbing the sodding horn and ploughing through the crowds of pensioners knocking them flying he stops about an inch in front of me and tells me to move cos he cant reach the Pork Chops But I'm getting my chops you will have to wait, i tell him yeah but I'm disabled he says and i need to get in there (yeah he might be in a wheelchair but there was nothing wrong with his mouth).

Look Out Harry Is Coming!

2009-11-12T11:50:00.003Z

A little bird tells me (and it may not be true) that Harry Ramsden may be about to open in town, GREAT i love his fish and chips, I'm not sure all the other chip shop owners will be very happy about it though.

I welcome any new business in town at the moment the sight of so many empty shops is frightening what must the tourists think when they come here, closed down shops, closed down hotels, holes in the ground,half a pier, no fireworks on Guy Fawkes,no tram, what would happen if we all closed our places down for the winter and refused to pay our council tax for a few months, i cant afford to just shut up shop Mostyn Estates still want their insurance for the year and we have to try and pick up anything we can just to keep the bills paid and maintain the place.

next year will be the first year we have not been in the Visit Wales Scheme and talking to one or two HOTEL owners that pulled out last year it has had no effect at all, i also had a look at Trip Advisors top ten HOTELS in Llandudno and Guess what only one of them is classed as a hotel with Visit Wales All the others are Guest Accommodation It looks like they have got the grading the wrong way round to me but i bet nobody from VW has even bothered to ever look at it, anyway i have decided
that we will not call ouselves Guest Accommodation as we are now free to call the place anything we want we will be known as! TOWN METRO BOUTIQE HOUSE HOTEL BED BREAKFAST ACCOMMODATION WITH ROOMS AND BAR RESORT, what do you thik eh? all i have to do now is save up fot the sign.

We have Mrs Smoker in at the moment why is it when we have signs all over the place that they still think they can smoke in the rooms leaning out of the sodding window,throw their fag buts on the floor and think we wont know!! i wouldn't mind but it is the older ones that are worse you would think they would know better,how would they like it if i went into their house and and wafted a dead skunk around for a few hours!

On a different note i am sad to see that Oscar has decided to pack up Blogging its a shame, as i used to read it almost every day and will miss it,you might not always agree with everything that was said on the site, but it was always a good read and now I'm not sure where we will all get the latest news from.

Spotty Hotel

2009-11-03T12:07:00.003Z

Just been getting all the figures ready for our year end, and i noticed how much more conference business we got this year compared with last, i can't remember there being more on this year, i just think we got a bigger slice of the action,and chatting to another HOTELIER who feels the same, his opinion is that maybe we took some of the business of the large hotels, with the bosses staying at the all singing and dancing places, and the not so important guys getting put up in the smaller places like ours as the credit crunch continues to bite most companies will be looking for this sort of saving,it is a pity our government departments are not doing the same!!!.

Having spoken to a conference organiser it would appear that this is now the case all over not just here, and in many instances the guys in the smaller and more cost effective hotels have had a better service being able to be flexible with meal times and such like has always been a strength of the smaller HOTEL but it wont get you any more stars.

We just had a couple of nights away and stayed at a very nice 4 star Hotel only and hour or so away, the Hotel itself was superb the rooms were first class (in my opinion deserved 5 stars the setting was to die for, and we picked up some useful ideas for the HOTEL, and then it all got let down by 1 or 2 totally useless staff members.

On arrival we waited about 10 minutes as nobody was at the reception they were all busy apparently when we eventually got to speak to someone we were told that we had checked in at the wrong desk! (OH MY GOD SHOOT ME) then we were packed of to another empty desk and told to wait until someone came, after a while a spotty faced girl came sneezing swine flu all over us and after about 3 phone calls we were told we would now be allowed up to our £180.00 room.

As we left for the lift the man in the Que behind us asked if he and his family could have lunch for 5 people the girl looked at her watch and said NO WE ARE SHUT NOW but its only 2pm and it says that you are open till 3pm said the guy, Yeah but its gone quiet now so we are closing early she said!! Poor bugger he was only trying to give them some money!!.

To be fair dinner was perfect and could not be faulted but breakfast was not so good,as we went to the breakfast room again! nobody there we waited a few minutes and spotty came running out of a cupboard somewhere and noticed us, she waved us over to a table in the corner and left us, after a while she came over and asked what we wanted would breakfast be to much trouble i asked? the mrs gave me a kick!! i ordered a full Welsh breakfast and she told me what they didn't have, now i can't understand it if you have 40 guests booked in you get 40 bloody breakfasts and some spares in case you get greedy bastards but not this place they didn't bother, next i asked for some orange juice and was told with a roll of spottys eyes and a tilted head that it was over there on the table in the other corner, Well what a stupid twat! i am not knowing that!! i coud go on but it just got worse so i gave up an ate the cold toast thtat had been on the table since we sat down.

My point is that this was not a small hotel but a very well known one with a sister hotel down the road thats just as well known and VISIT WALES have given it these stars on its service and qaulity i hope they meet spotty next time they do a grading inspection>>

I am going to enjoy this winter getting my own back!!!!

Paying too much money?

2009-10-21T09:40:00.002+01:00

Sitting having a chat with a couple of HOTELIERS the other night and we got talking about how much money we pay into the system, one HOTEL owner was telling me that he had paid the government in one way or another £86000.00 more than he had paid himself!!at first i sat there in disbelief but, when he started adding it all up i started to think Christ!! he is right.

Let's have a look at what he is paying, Business Rates, now we all know that we are being ripped of in Conwy for that one, VAT,Refuse Collection,His own Personal Tax,P.A.Y.E. Fuel Duty,Insurance Premium Tax,Staff National Insurance Contributions,Alcohol Licence Fee,Tourist board Fee,Car Tax,Corporation Tax,Climate Levy Charge on Utility Bills,Water Rates,and Council Tax on his private apartment within the hotel,.

No wonder he is pissed off with sending Money off to one government dept or other,and what if he closes his hotel down as he is often thinking about?, as one department or other is constantly giving him grief and trying to stop him from earning a living, What then!!! i tell you what!! the bloody government is going to loose out to the tune of £86000.00 and he will become another statistic,counted in some totally useless department that puts nothing into the economy of Llandudno or anywhere else for that matter.

It's about time someone woke up and realised that businesses in this area put in a hell of a lot more than they take out, and we should be getting help,not picked on at every opportunity.

I wish i had a job in some cushy dept within the walls of local or national government where i could work 5 days a week with no stress and retire at 60 on a bloody good pension take about 5 weeks holiday PAID and never have to wory about the state of the economy ,the state of the town,or the state of the country.

what have i got to look forward to?? retirement at about 70 years of age?(if i am Lucky)i can then think of trying to find some daft bugger and talk them into buying my business and then probably hand most of that over in TAX, retire on a state pension of about £35.00 and that will probably get me a loaf of bread and and a bottle of milk!

Oh well maybe i can find a cheap B&B in town and steal all the tea and coffee, or perhaps live on a caravan park and pay no tax at all, according to Jeremy Vine today North Wales is Flooded with such places.

Blue Flag Llandudno

2009-10-16T08:20:00.003+01:00

Here is an e-mail that a fellow HOTELIER sent to me today,are the people who are running our town intent on total self destruction,i walk around this town every day and can see the failings why can't they? are they so blind to it? or are they just to lazy to get up from the desks that they live behind and do something?.

The only time i have seen anyone in authority they have been stuffing their faces at some freebie or another, then they will chat to you for a few minutes pretending to be interested whilst scanning the buffet over your shoulder to make sure it's not all gone and then you know that nothing will happen because they are to busy organising the next jolly or other.

Roll on the next election let's kick this lot out and then get to the executives at CCBC.and roll some heads before it's to late.

Hi **********
Below is an email I have received this morning and have lost a booking worth £1200 for next year, because of our beaches.

Don’t know if it is of interest or not, Hope you are well

J********

Hi

I just wanted to let you know that we are not going to make a booking. The property looks great but I not happy about the cleanliness of the beach water around that area. We had a bad experience in Guernsey two years ago re sewage and the fact that Llandudno has lost its blue flag status does not bode well. I think it is shocking in our day and age we still have a water system that allows sewage to be dumped in times of high rain. I know it is a problem in many parts of the UK but if you get any opportunity, please forward my comments to local tourist boards etc.

Thanks for your help and I am sorry to have wasted your time.

Best Regards
Elaine

Good Food Guide.

2009-10-15T20:18:00.003+01:00

We had some friends to stay this week and took them out to a few places to eat, all in all everything was fine,but 2 places in particular were excellent,first was the Queens Head at Glanwydden,Brilliant food served piping hot by very friendly staff,a bit more expensive than your average pub meal but well worth every penny,each time i go there the standard is good and the beer is also top notch.

Next night we went to the Empire Hotel and had a meal at the poolside £15.00 per head with wine and coffee you can't argue with that,again served by very good staff Lilly is always on the ball at that place, the Maddocks have got a good one there, they better look after her or we will poach her!!.

One of our friends is now a retired accountant and when ever we go out it's always his job to work out the bill! it's become a bit of a joke now, and one of the other guys is a gynecologist and always moans that nobody ever asks him to ply his ex trade at the dinner table!!!

only a couple of weeks left now and I'm going to sod off and annoy some poor hotelier or guest house owner,somewhere after all i have a whole years worth of cunning tricks to try out i just hope i don't end up staying somewhere with a miserable old git like me as a landlord or there is gonna be trouble!!!

Crime pays for Holidays!!!

2009-10-13T15:53:00.004+01:00

It is very sad that at this time of year the behaviour of some people seems to get worse, or is it that we just don't notice it in the summer, the amount of yobs wandering around openly swearing and being abusive to others is appalling,why are they coming here? who is paying for them? who is responsible for them? and why do the authorities seem to do nothing about it?

I watched one yob today openly shouting and abusing a community policewoman, are they so powerless to do anything about it? or are they just in the wrong job?.

In my day you had respect for anyone in authority and you would never dream of answering back! never mind arguing in public with them you would have been taken away.

I have just been reading a local newspaper from an area near a big city that i know well, that a guest left for me to read, and he told me that every week the press publish the names and crimes of all those that go to the local magistrates court in an effort to embarrass them, but it would seem that all it is doing is giving them hero status amongst their piers, here are 3 edited entries.

Daniel ******** 20 of Elizabeth Terrace
Pleaded Guilty of being drunk and disorderly in ****** Town centre and also of being in possession of a class b drug and failing to surrender to police bail!!!!.

He was Fined £50.00 Wow!!!

Now compare that with the very next entry!!
George *******21 of Blandford Grove
Guilty of driving without a valid test certificate and using a mobile phone while driving.
Fined £685.00

Now i know that the second guy still broke the law but sodding hell what harm was he doing compared to the fist yob!! then compare them both with the next one.

Paul ******** No fixed abode
Guilty of stealing scaffolding piping worth £3950.00 a lawn mower garden furniture a washing machine and £700.00 worth of criminal damage.

Ordered to undertake treatment at a drug dependency unit and fined £150.00

No doubt the unit is probably somewhere in North Wales and you may soon have him as a neighbor!!!

Digital Switch over

2009-10-09T12:51:00.002+01:00

I thought that with all the advertising and banners scattered over town that i could believe the hype, and we would be switching over on the 21st October,Well apparently not! we wont be switching over until the 2nd December and why?? Because we don't get our signal from the Conwy Transmitter we get our signal from Winter hill, as i expect many in Llandudno do, we can get a very faint picture on the Conwy transmitter but you couldn't watch it.

With all this in mind why has so much money been thrown at giving us incorrect information? why has nobody from Digital realised that in some places there will be towns that can't get a signal from there nearest transmitter?.

On the Digital web site it says the CONWAY transmitter is variable and only has 16 channels, WHOOPIE, that will be great!! i bet all you can get is the shopaholic channel, Gay Rabbit, and BBC9, that only comes on after 10pm and shows old episodes of crossroads,

Sod it! I'm fed up with this whole tv crap, I'm going to pull them out of all the rooms and put a compendium set in each one, they can play Ludo all night!!!

Rotary Line In A Spin!!!!

2009-10-07T12:31:00.006+01:00

Although i do moan sometimes, (well a lot actually) about some of our guests, in the main they are pretty good, but it would be boring to talk about the nice ones, so i will carry on moaning about the more interesting ones,

Now my wife has got the patience of a saint,and being married to me, some would say that she bloody well needs it!, but this weekend almost pushed her over the edge, we had 2 groups in this week about 30 or so from a club called something like the Rotary spinners, and another group celebrating a 60th,and my god what a difference in the way the 2 groups behaved ,spinners first.

After checking them in they all decided to swap rooms!, i did start to wonder what sort of group they were? )(swingers or Spinners),But after a while and 53 visits to reception things started to settle down, that is until we had to order 12 taxis, now you try getting 1 taxi at 730pm on a Friday night never mind 12, anyway after about an hour or so they were all gone only to return at about 1230 am waking up almost everyone in Llandudno with the banging doors and running between rooms,

Next Morning i thought we had 700 people in for breakfast, they all decided to hit us at once!! Then started get Shitty with us because there was a Que at the buffet!, then the finger clicking started (my pet hate) as they started a competition as to who could order the most stupid breakfast, the winner hands down was the self proclaimed leader of the spinners who won with the following 2 Smoked Kippers, with poached egg, sausages, mushrooms, hash brown, and beanz,!!! I mean for Christ's sake how can you eat that!.

50 gallons of decaf tea, & coffee, later, because every single couple decided to have one tea, and one coffee, and refused to Share with anyone else on their table, and we were nearly there and it was only 1045am, the 60th birthday group were now half way up the Orme waiting for the bus to take them to summit complex for fish, and chips!!!, just 2 hours of cleaning the dining room and we could get working on the rooms.

yep you guessed it!! i thought a bomb had gone off!! in most of the rooms why don't some people have a bit of respect, one woman had even decided to dye her hair black and used one of our bath sheets to do it with,Tea bags left lying around all over dressing tables mountains of newspapers bins full of bottles of wine and pizza boxes (why do they do that they wouldn't do it at home) any way by 4pm we were tidy again and the 60th groups rooms didn't even look like anyone had slept in them,

5pm the reception starts kicking off as they all get back from wherever they had been destroying all day, then Mr Spinner leader collars me in the entrance, and informs me that they would like me to provide 30 wine glasses in the bar for them at 7.30pm as they will be drinking their own wine tonight"!! i nearly hit the sodding roof CHEEKY sods, where do they think they are?? i wouldn't go into the Kings Head order a glass and say oh it's OK i have my own beer tonight you just keep washing glasses for me.

Good job the wife was there as she could see the steam coming out of my ears she pushed me into a broom cupboard and locked me in till they were all gone, i have to say that it was like having a school group in i don't think they could even wipe their own arses without coming to reception and asking which hand would be best to use!.

130am still tyring to carry all the empty bottles of wine down to the bottle bins THAT WE DIDN'T Sell and cleaning all the nuts an crisps of the floor that they had stamped int my brand new bloody carpets, Ahh well they will be gone tomorrow just got to get through breakfast so i just got my head down (in a bowl of porridge) and got on with it.

The 60th birthday group all came and thanked me for a brilliant weekend all shook my hand and left the staff £50.00 tips and all went off happy.

The Spinners all pissed off and never said a sodding word, one of them left 7 pence on the top of the toilet cistern in one of the rooms and £500.00 in recyclable materials so all was well, just got to bolt the place back together as we have a group of paranoid schizophrenics ( i think that's how you spell it) Coming in today, i am looking forward to that and as soon as that cow of a wife let's me out of this cupboard I'm gonna get her (unless someone else gets ME first!!!!!!!!!.

Google To The Rescue

2009-10-01T16:02:00.005+01:00

Having Now been forced into a corner i and a few other Hoteliers must Leave the Visit Wales scheme however i think we have a solution,Here are a few simple steps to get an honest grading for your HOTEL without all the bureaucratic rubish that comes from Visit Wales about what you can and can't call yourself.

1. Log on to Google type in the name of your Hotel and hit search Google maps

You will then get a result and star rating from Google not an opinion of a hotel inspector that may stay once every 3 years or so, and who you probably know!.

But an honest list of opinions from possibly hundreds of guests that have stayed with you.
My Hotel has over a hundred reviews and has a star rating i am happy with, its a true and honest opinion of our hotel by the people who matter, the guests.

Here is one to try, i just did it, go to Google maps and type in the Grand hotel Llandudno, Google give them 3 stars and they have 167 reviews i would say that the star rating is about right and the reviews seem to be recent

The reviews can't be altered or fixed and come from various sources including Trip Advisor Bookings.com Laterooms.com and google customers,

This is a great way to market your Hotel and is free, the information is published by google so i see no reason why it can't be used as promotional material for your business, i have e-mailed them and asked the question can i call myself a google graded hotel? i can't see why not as i can put the Trip Advisor grading on my web site, i think it would have a lot more Recognition internationally than the current tourist board one.

I also noted that the pioneer picked up on the story with a couple of Hoteliers giving good reason why they were unhappy, and what was the response from Visit Wales?

Nothing of any help coming forward the same response that i had we can re-grade you as a hotel, but as we don't have a swimming pool, a Gym Telephones in all the rooms a 24 hour reception and we lock the door at night we would probably get 2 stars if we were lucky service, cleanliness,customer satisfaction excellent customer reviews, high occupancy, and the ability to comunicate in english/welsh seems to go nowhere with them.............

Something just hit the fan!!!!

2009-09-22T14:06:00.003+01:00

Now I'm going to warn you that this post is not something that you should read whilst having a meal!!!!

Lets talk about this weeks fun and games at the HOTEL, that fantastic invention the Saniflow toilet, now we have about 6 left in the hotel, each year when we start renovations and fit new bathrooms we try our best to get rid of them,but some are
never going to be changed because of the way the building was converted in about 1936.

The sodding things always go at the worst possible time usually before we start serving in the dining room! Why is it that guests cant read? do they all take off their glasses when they go to the loo??.

The warnings are quite clear it says DO NOT PUT ANYTHING DOWN THIS TOILET THAT HAS NOT BEEN IN YOUR MOUTH!!. So why is it that people eat cotton wool with blue string!!they must have that for starters followed by fresh wipes and string followed by cocktail sticks and condoms. URGHHHH what a meal some people are just sick.

Either that or they are just not taking any notice of our clear and concise signage,anyway the other day one went tits up at a very busy part of the day so i rushed up to the top floor to be greeted by the now familiar grinding sound of blades thrashing away at some article illegally thrown down the bog,now I'm normally very careful with these sort of things but without thinking i pulled of the outlet pipe and gave it a kick! what a stupid thing to do! as within a micro second the whole contents of the saniflow gushed out at about a hundred miles an hour,i was completely covered from head to toe in, (well i guess you know what it was)not only that the whole bathroom was now covered in Sh**.

It did make me wonder if the guests in the room were the grading inspectors from Visit Wales as i am getting a lot of ***T from them at the moment.

After the initial shock i just stood there and thought how the sodding hell am i going to get back downstairs and get help? as i looked like a YETI from the planet shit! all i could do was strip off and get in the shitty shower nick one of the bath robes then sneak down the fire escape passing about 8 rooms on the way much to the amusement of some of the guests who wanted to know why i was cooking breakfast in a pink dressing gown.

3 hours of cleaning and a really pissed of wife and housemaid, we managed to get it all sorted out now all we needed to do was the sodding machine, this time i fooled it by pulling the fuse (SOME SMART ARSE WILL E_MAIL ME AND SAY YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE ,NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!)Pardon the pun.

After examination and stripping the unit down which is no pleasant past time i can tell you! guess what we found? 6 PLUM STONES, Sodding hell that must have hurt like hell!, i did speak to the guests in the room and told him not to put any more down there, his curt reply was Well the sign says don't put anything down there that's not been in your mouth well! the plum stones have so its your own fault!!!

I don't think i can publish my response. Where is that bowl of porridge i can feel a gargle coming on!!!!!!!!!!.

VISIT WALES, WHY?

2009-09-16T11:40:00.004+01:00

I had a letter from visit Wales this week and this is what it said

Dear ***********

It has come to our attention that you are making a number of references on your Website to the *************** being a hotel.

As you know The **************** is currently graded under the 'Guest Accommodation criteria and is rated as - star Guest Accommodation.

In order to avoid any potential consumer confusion, i would be grateful for your co-operation in removing reference to the word hotel from your website and any other marketing material where the word hotel is mentioned.

If i do not hear from you within 1 month of receipt of this letter confirming that the changes have been made, we will be making arrangements for your business to be re-designated according to the hotel criteria.

if you would like to discuss this matter further then please do not hesitate to contact me.

Glyn Roberts

Head Of Quality Development Operations

NOW i know lots of other HOTELIERS that have also had this letter and it would be nice if we could contact Mr Roberts But the telephone number on the letter head is an old one that's no longer used WELL DONE VISIT WALES ANOTHER LOAD OF ADMIN COCK UP

Why are they intent on pissing the trade off? why are they not doing their job and promoting Wales instead of pretending to be a regulatory body that as far as i am concerned they are not, and nobody has yet given the that power (thank God).

A good Friend of mine sent a response to them and has given me permission to put his response on the blog Here goes.

In response to your letter asking us to remove the word HOTEL from our web site we would like to point out the following.

1. The word hotel is part of the registered name of our company and we are not prepared to change it for Visit Wales or anyone else.
2. Our URL is ***********hotel.co.uk a name that we have owned for many years and have spent thousands of pounds with Google and other Internet marketing people to promote the name ***********.co.uk.
3. All of the contracts we have with suppliers both locally and nationally are with the ********* Hotel our bank accounts are ******* Hotel.
4. Our V.A.T is The ******** Hotel
5. Our reservation software and online booking system says ******* Hotel all over it this alone would cost thousands of pounds in software and maintenance costs to alter
6. All of our stationary has ********** Hotel all over it
7. Our Credit card Machine says The ******** Hotel on all of our receipts
8. The signage on our listed building has ********* Hotel on it we would need permission from Mostyn estates The local Council and the conservation officer to change it
9. We have been known as the ********* Hotel since 1945 Thousands and thousands of guests have enjoyed staying here, many generations have stayed with us over the years and they all know that we are the ******* Hotel, not one single person has ever said that we have misrepresented ourselves by calling ourselves a hotel.
10. The word Hotel is in my opinion a generic word when people look for somewhere to stay they will type in the Google box HOTELS IN LLANDUDNO they will not type in GUEST ACCOMMODATION ANYWHERE, this leaves the small hotel like us and hundreds of others with a disadvantage in the e-market, and something you seem to be totally blind to.
11. We clearly state on our web site that we are graded as guest accommodation and use the visit Wales logo indicating this point so are misleading nobody
12. Mostyn Estates who are our land owners and who we have a lease for the building with will charge us a fee for re issuing our lease if we are no longer a hotel.
13. It is Visit Wales that have changed the rules regarding the grading scheme and not us we were happy the way it was, our guests were happy with the service we give.
14. We will withdraw from the scheme totally if you persist in this stance with our business name and I believe so will at least 15 other members of the group of hotels in our working group within Llandudno.
I have complained to the Minister for tourism Alun Ffred jones.

We are Hoteliers, we are not guest accommodators or would you rather us change what we call ourselves.

We also own a web site called ****************hotels.org what would you have us do with that site should we abandon it and walk away from one of the most exciting web opportunities we have had for years .
The answer is NO we will not, we will continue on with or without visit Wales, if we have to pull out of the scheme so be it! I will be the first to hand my plaque in, we will self grade using trip Advisor and late rooms where the guests grade us themselves .

Finally I leave you with this point to bear in mind we have spoken and had a meeting with trading standards and not one of our members was misleading the public by calling themselves a hotel look up the word in the dictionary and see what it says (COMMERCIALLY RUN ESTABLISHMENT PROVIDING LODGING AND MEALS FOR GUESTS) you may wish to discuss this with me before we go public with a statement to the press my number is 01492 ******** that is the number you can get me on, unlike the letter you sent me with a telephone number on it that no longer exists 01654 704231 having spent half an hour of my precious time trying to contact you on today .

END END

Bravo i say, i will also join the band of ever growing HOTELS that have pulled out of the scheme WAKE UP VISIT WALES LISTEN TO THE HARD WORKING HOTELIERS THAT PROVIDE THE VAST NUMBER OF BEDS IN THIS COUNTRY AN STOP THIS CAMPAIGN>>>>

Dailly Complaints list

2009-09-08T13:02:00.005+01:00

At the risk of being a Victor Meldrew below is a list of genuine complaints.
All taken in one day,now i know that its coming to the end of the season and I'm tired but you got to laugh.

1. Room 2 OUR ROOM IS FREEZING COLD AND WE HAD TO GO TO BED TO GET WARM this was last night despite temperatures outside rising to almost 22 degrees

Response we turned up the radiator thermostat in the room now its like an oven!!!!

2.Room 19 the armchair in our room makes a creaking noise and its really annoying.

Response YES that's because its leather! and they tend to do that (we changed it for a dinning room chair)

3.Room 12 The shaver socket in my room is not working and i couldn't have a shave this morning.

Response we turned it on now it seems to work OK!!.

4.Room 22 the window in our room rattled all night and is disturbing our sleep.

Response Yes that's because its windy and the council wont let me put a nice energy efficient window in because they are stupid. ( we put a door wedge in it to stop it moving)

5. Room 6 we cant get ITV1 on the telly and it sounds like a Dalek (DON'T BLOODY START ME OFF)

Response i stuck my head in the porridge and gargled until i choked

6. Room 4 My wife and i have had to go all over the hotel and unplug the electric air fresheners as my wife has a serious allergy to air fresheners.

Response i rang the eviromental health department to see if they could make sure all of the neighboring hotels shops and cafes in town are aware of the grave situation.

7.Room 10 tomorrow can you get the chef to make 2 separate batches of porridge as i only have skimmed milk but my partner prefers full cream milk!

Response no problem madam the porridge will be cooked with special ingredients tomorrow,(AS SOON AS I GET THE BOWL OF MY SODDING HEAD!!!!!)

PLUS THIS ONE JUST IN ROOM 15. we have just been down the prom and the wind has ripped our umberella can you get yor wife to sew it up for us.

Response XXXXXX***********XXXX *****XXXXX!!!!

Keep smiling and taking the dough.

Bloody TVs

2009-09-07T14:55:00.005+01:00

I know that i have covered this in a previous post but these bloody TVs are driving me mad every day now, 1 or 2 of the sodding things stop working, they either loose all the channels or they freeze, and the sound goes like a dalek!! quite frightening for some of our elderly and younger guests, who we find cowering in the wardrobe because doctor who has just killed someone on eastenders and the daleks have attacked Simon Cowel! all the pictures and channels have gone tits up with big squares on them.

I have even been on the roof to check that the seagulls are not sitting on the Aeriel but there is nothing that i can see is wrong, but i am fed up of being asked (we don't want to make a fuss but can you sort out the telly for us )

The signal is supposed to be boosted after switch over in October but that doesn't help us now,and what if the signal is no better,after the changeover we already have a 10 Megawatt booster in the attic that makes the electricity meter spin out of control.

I suppose we will have to find alternative ways of entertaining our guests during the evenings, we could go back to the old days, dust down the piano and have a good old sing song followed by a stroll down Mostyn st to watch the lamplighter get mugged for his oil.

Mind you it has always amused me why guests come away on holiday and spend all night cooped up in room watching X Factor and Coronation st, i prefer when i am on holiday to go out for a nice meal and then spend the evening in the bar getting slowly blurry eyed,

Actually! that's a good idea! if i get them all pissed before they go to there rooms perhaps the picture on the TVs will look OK!!!!!!!!!!!

Numbers Up

2009-09-01T15:46:00.000+01:00

Well after another successful bank holiday and what looks like a busy weekend in town, despite the weather Visit Wales are Stating that Numbers of visitors are up,and i would agree with them for a change.

You have to ask why? and i think i know one reason why more people are holidaying in the UK.

I decided it was about time to start looking for a holiday as the season draws to a close, but i remembered that my passport was almost out of date,so i had a wander down to the post office, now i haven't been there for a while so spent about 10 Min's looking for the form and was then told by someone in the ten mile Que that you have to see a cashier to get one (WHY?) in my opinion they looked to busy to be buggering about handing forms out,so you stand in line for about an hour while the annoying electronic voice reminds the next victim that they are about to spend the next half an hour at the hands of an ex double glazing salesman trying to sell you everything from life insurance to a holiday.

I mean why do they have to have that stupid voice thing that says CASHIER NUMBER 2 PLEASE when there is only one bloody cashier open.

Then off to the next challenge in obtaining a passport, now if my memory serves me right there were 3 photo booths in town where you could get a passport photo 1 in the post office itself, 1 outside Woolworth's, and 1 outside Poundstrecher in upper Mostyn, But not any more someone has bloody well gone and swiped them all, so i don't know where else you can go.

My suspicion is that visit Wales have had them removed to stop anyone leaving the country in an effort to bolster tourist figures.

Having a wonder past all the shops looking for photo booths we stopped for some lunch, on the next table i overheard a couple who were here on holiday having a chat, he said to her i don't know why we have bothered coming here all the bloody shops are exactly the same as we have at home, and i have to agree almost every town you go to now it@s the same old rubbish in the same old shops you could indeed be anywhere in the UK.

And it is slightly worrying i think that if we don't get some individuality back into the town then why would people want to come back?.

We should be exploiting the one thing that the tourists love about the place it's Victorian heritage, and the fact that we have not gone down the kiss me quick route like Blackpool and Rhyl, there are calls for new tourist attractions skate rinks cinemas etc and that's great but surely that's what all the other resorts have done and it's not working.

In my opinion we have the best seaside town in the uk, and i have said it before we should look after and preserve what we have stop bribing the big chains to come to town, reduce the business rates on Mostyn st and Madocks st for small business's get some of the empty shops let, encourage more traditional trades, Why can't we have a Market one day a week on the car park behind the cottage loaf.

Ah well another rant over, and i just remembered we have something that no other town has!! NOT ONE BLOODY PHOTO BOOTH.

Don't Mention the war!!

2009-08-26T11:07:00.003+01:00

This week we had the pleasure of some European guests the 2 Germans were in particular not very nice i knew that we were not going to get on when the gentleman (heir Flick The Click) started clicking his fingers across the dining room one of my pet hates that.

Breakfast was fun itself with a request for a German breakfast of Mozzarella Cheese, sweet butter and smoked ham, i did try to point out, in my very best basil like way that he was now in Wales and a Welsh breakfast was what we traditionally serve, not good enough for him though, and he ordered me to pay a visit to the deli and purchase the said goods the next day.

Next time i go to Germany i'm going to demand a full cooked Welsh Breakfast and see what happens.

2 hours later and a battle at reception as Heir Flick was having difficulty locating the European plug socket in his room we tried to explain that when we go on holiday we have to take our travel adaptors with us and pointed him in the direction of Boots (he did ask me for the money to buy it by the way)

Next day and he is giving the maid a right bollocking in the corridor outside his room for using bleach, toilet cleaner, and air freshener, in his room he then told us that in future we are only to use warm water like they do in the EEC and also to not move any of his porno magazines and dvds from the bedside cabinet.

The following morning at breakfast and a couple of clicks later he summoned me over to his cheese and ham piled table and asked me where he could take his elderly mother for the day as it was raining (my fault)by this time my patience was wearing a bit thin so i sent them of to the museum for the day then to a nice pub for lunch i gave him all the directions and off he went, i must admit i didn't see anything wrong with the places i had recommended The Home Front experience is a great place when its raining, and the food at the mulberry is very good i have eaten there loads of times i like to read all about the mulberry harbours that were built some time in the 40s and how we exported them to France!.

Anyway apparently his mother was not happy about my recommendations and almost choked on some of the fruit that she stole from the breakfast buffet whilst hiding in an air raid shelter.

Not Long Now september just around the corner and the days getting shorter i must start planning our holiday!!

Free TV For All

2009-08-18T12:19:00.002+01:00

Well we are finally ready for the Digital switch over, and although being told it would be at very little or no cost i can honestly say that it has cost us a small fortune, we went out last year and bought about 30 digi boxes and fitted them into all the rooms, and yes they work great if you have the sense to turn the TV onto AV then find the menu button then work out which one of the 150 or so channels has coronation street on, (actually i found it on about 5 channels with Len Fairclough having a half in the Rovers in two episodes)Anyway i had lost count at the number of times we have had to go up to rooms to show some guests how to operate the sodding things, they just cant do 2 remotes it doesn't work!! so we have now bit the bullet and installed brand new TVs in all rooms ready for it and to be honest they are good easy to use and no fuss.

But i am from a time when everything that you have is precious and you had to work bloody hard to get anything, i can remember us not having a TV at all then when we did you had to put ten bob in the back to make it run.

The sight of 30 or so perfectly good TVs and digi boxes rotting away in the stores break es my heart, someone must want them! But alas even the tip at Mochdre have refused them.

However i have come up with a great marketing idea stay with us for 2 nights and get a free portable colour TV with remote and digi box stay a week and get 2 TVs, My wife thinks I'm daft but i remember when the top prize on the sale of the century was a colour TV

It cant be very green to just dump them and anyway i refuse to throw them in a skip cos they still work,you never know they may become collectors pieces....

Smashin August

2009-08-14T15:14:00.002+01:00

We are now on about our 10th toilet seat of the season and probably the 20th shower head i don't know what some people get up to in hotel bathrooms,and i don't think i want to,but it never ceases to amaze me how much damage we get,and comments like the TV just fell of the wall as i walked past it!.

Now i have a toilet seat in my bathroom that's been there for at least 6 years and never fell off! my tv has never jumped off the wall, my bed has never broken in half,and to the best of my knowledge i have never pissed the bed(well not in the last 40 odd years anyway) or thrown coffee all over the wall,dropped my cup in the sink and smashed both items.

They then go out for the day and expect the bloody lot to be replaced without delay and no word of apology or offer of payment, it makes you wonder what their houses must be like!.

And then there is the other extreme some guests when you go in to service the rooms you have to look in the wardrobe to check if anyone has actually stayed in the place,cups washed, bed made, towels dry and hanging neatly, curtains open, and toilet actually flushed,(wish i could find more of them)then there is the Americans with their millions of tons of ice needed WHAT THE HELL DO YOU NEED ICE FOR IN THIS WEATHER.

Oh well Carry on soon be November and i can get some sleep.

CARROTS FOR BREAKFAST?

2009-07-28T13:56:00.005+01:00

Can anyone tell me what it is about vegetarians that makes them think that they have some sort of affliction and that they need special care,whilst i can see the point that they are making it never ceases to amaze me how many of them have to telephone before getting here and tell you all about their preferences,and then when they do get to the hotel they rush up to you at breakfast and proudly announce their intention to not touch anything that has come into contact with an animal,they do this with the intention of letting the whole dinning room aware just in case all the guests would like to applaud them and give encouragement.

When i go out or stay in a hotel i don't feel the need to announce to all and sundry that i am a carnivore,i don't eat eggs anymore because i have high cholesterol but i just dont order them.

Then the waiter/waitress has to also be informed whilst taking the order and has to guess as to what type of veggie they are dealing with eggs, no eggs, milk, no milk, butter, no butter, fish, no fish, i must admit it is all a bit confusing after all these years i still get some i have not heard off before.

Why can't they just come in and order food that they do eat and don't order stuff they are against eating.

We once had an accountant who was a veggie and a very nice lady she was but i always had a battle with her as to what she would or wouldn't eat, then one day she said look! it's simple i don't eat anything with a face OK!,so i said to her but you eat potatoes and they have eyes, she didn't think it was funny.

COOKING TIP OF THE WEEK FROM OUR HEAD CHEF HASH BROWNS AND FRIED BREAD TASTE FAB IF YOU COOK THEM IN BEEF DRIPPING YUMMY!!

Sale Now on!!

2009-07-23T20:24:00.003+01:00

It's been great seeing all the boats out in the bay this week it makes the whole place come alive and looks like a real holiday resort, it's a pity though that they have to trudge all the way down the prom pulling the trolleys and then down the very sadly neglected slipway, and then trudge all the way back down the prom again.

Why dont the jobsworths sitting in the hut all day looking out for people flouting the prom bye laws get down there and give it a good clean now and again

Why is it that Colwyn Bay has 6 slipways and Llandudno only has 2, and the wooden one looks like it's about to fall down at any moment, maybe the council could consider building a new concrete one opposite the sailing club that would be a great idea! and may encourage more boats in the bay, i am told by a very reliable source that if one was built there the town could attract many more sailing events even world championships! such is the expertise in the club.

Some how i can't see that ever happening, that would be a forward step to encourage tourism into the town and we couldnt have that at all.....

Call The Police!

2009-07-17T13:02:00.003+01:00

At the risk of confirming that i am a grumpy old man! Why is it that guests have to clean the rooms out of all of the complimentary toiletries, teas, coffees, milks, and even toilet rolls,? can't they afford a few tea bags and a bottle of milk?.

We have 1 guest who comes here a couple of time a year and every day all the teas etc have gone, we are not mean with them a double room will typically have about 8 of everything more than enough, but this particular guest (and she is not the only one) takes all of the unused ones and put them in the wardrobe so that the maid will leave another 8 or so.

Unless you have had a very hot! curry how on earth can anyone get through 3 toilet rolls in a day?.

It must be that time of the year again when i need to sod off for a few days and annoy a hotel owner in another part of the world just to relieve the pressure.

we also had the joy of the ambulance service this week, i must admit on the occasions when we have called them out they are around pretty damn smartish and always very good with the patient.

On this occasion an old dear had decided not to pay the extortionate fee of £1 for coffee in the bar and had decided to bring down from her room a boiling kettle of water, a cup, a stolen tea bag, milk, sugar, and a packet of biscuits to make it herself, however she missed the 3rd stair down and decided to fly the rest throwing boiling water and cups everywhere 9 hours and 10 stitches later she spent £35.00 in a taxi back from Glan Clwyd to get her full breakfast.

Ahh well we now look forward to the glorious school holidays when an altogether different joy awaits us.

On the positive side business is very good bookings for July august are at a level not seen for a very long time with almost 95-100% room occupancy all we need now is the weather to change and even i might be happy.

KEEP COOKING TH BACON.

Our New Toilets are Great!!

2009-07-10T16:26:00.002+01:00

Yes this is real in a five star hotel in New Zealand! Pictures of women watching men pi** at the urinals in the Sofitel, Queenstown. New Zealand. The women are outfitted with cameras, tape measures and other implements of male humiliation.

Council Seagulls?

2009-07-09T11:47:00.003+01:00

I'm getting a bit fed up now, its not my bloody fault that the seagulls are noisy and it is not my fault that they nick your lunch when you are minding your own business walking down the prom.

So why do guests insist on moaning about them? they should stay at bloody home if they don't like the sodding things.

Then i got to thinking, if there is anything that maybe could be done, then i had a great idea!

If the council were to take over the running of them that would be great! They could have an office at Bodlondeb there must be plenty of space.

1 you would never see another one in town again!
2 The noise would disappear overnight.
3 All the guests would be safe to walk down the prom.
4 They could all scream and shout at each other all day and night and never get anywhere

OK it would probably cost a few hundred thousand pounds, but so what i mean, what use are they anyway? they take from the public, they destroy buildings for no reason,they leave shit everywhere.
If you leave your car where they don't like you to leave it you will come back and find a nasty surprise has been left by them on your windscreen.

They constantly annoy everyone they spoil everything that they come in contact with and it costs us the ratepayers to put right all the damage.

SODDING HELL I HAVE REALISED SOMETHING!!! THEY MUST ALREADY BE THERE........

West Shore Parking

2009-06-29T10:53:00.003+01:00

Ratepayer Has Left The Following Comment.

A couple of our older guests came back last night having parked in the car park at West Shore in the early evening and being slated by two traffic wardens for not paying the 50p fee required at that time.
This set me thinking--- Is it worth Conwy CBC paying traffic wardens at that time of the evening to chase up a few 50ps? I imagine that will qualify as overtime for them too.
Food for thought.

It does make you wonder why we seem unable to clean up an area of town so full of crap and rubbish and that the council seem to have abandoned, apart from 1 thing the TRAFFIC WARDENS and you must ask yourself why? because it is easy money and they don't have to do bugger all for it.

Why are the wardens patrolling the west shore anyway! there is no parking problem there and no issue with traffic! its a no brainer well said ratepayer.

Soap opera Hotel.

2009-06-24T10:38:00.006+01:00

The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a hotel and one of its guests.

Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Imperial Leather. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman

Dear Room 35, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management are to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory. Kathy, Relief Maid

Dear Maid I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening, I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Imperial Leather, so I won't need those 6 little Camays, which are on the shelf. They are in the way when shaving, brushing teeth etc. Please remove them. S. Berman

Dear Mr Berman, The assistant manager, Mr K****** informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints, please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you. Elaine ****** > Housekeeper

Dear Miss ******, It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6.00 PM. That's the reason I called Mr K***** last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr K***** if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet, along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me? S. Berman

Dear Mr Berman, Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and to remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM. Thank you, Elaine , > Housekeeper

Dear Mr K*******, My bath-size Imperial Leather is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room, including my own bath-size Imperial Leather. I came in late last night and had to call the reception to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets. S. Berman

Dear Mr Berman, I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience. K******* Assistant Manager > > >

Dear Mrs C, Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Imperial Leather. Do you realise I have 54 bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath-size Imperial Leather. Please give me back my bath-size Imperial Leather. > > S. Berman

Dear Mr Berman, You complained of too much soap in your room, so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr K****** that all your soap was missing, so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps, so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Imperial Leather. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.
Elaine > Housekeeper > > >

Dear Mrs Carmen, Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:
* On the shelf under the medicine cabinet -18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
* On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1stack of 3.
* On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
* Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
* In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
* On the northeast corner of the Bath - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
* On the northwest corner of the Bath - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3. Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-size Imperial Leather, which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings. > > S. Berman > > > >

Time For A Clean Up??

2009-06-10T15:30:00.007+01:00

Just been out for lunch, and i was sitting looking at the Clarence Hotel What a shame that it has fallen into such a sad state of repair, what must the tourists who come here think?, in my opinion it is almost at the point of total dilapidation.

Go to the other end of town and look at the Castle Hotel and the same sight hits you, so no matter which way you come into town you are looking at an eyesore.

Now i know that there are plans to develop the castle hotel but why can't the place be cleaned up a bit? SOMEONE MUST BE RESPONSIBLE, never mind picking on hotels for painting them the the wrong colour or putting decking down or having the wrong size glasses in the bar or the odd guest going 5 Min's over the allotted time in a parking bay or fitting the wrong type of double glazing, why don't the planners get of there arses and get some of the total eyesores sorted out?.

How long has the Pier Pavilion site been a total Shite hole? and i have heard all the excuses in the world why it can't be sorted out, it could if the council really wanted to do something about it they would, but nobody seems to care.

Be sure of one thing though the tourists see all and tell all, their Friends and neighbors let's hope we don't run out of new tourists who have not seen it yet..

A couple of days ago we went to the new Victoria Dock In Carenarevon, What a great place they have made of this former dead area of the town the bars are superb and the new Chinese is excellent it is a superb place to sit out on an evening have a drink and watch the sun set, the council are to be congratulated for the foresight in letting the developer build this great new tourist attraction.

As Hoteliers we are expected to get everything perfect and are not allowed to get away with anything, the appropriate authority will come down on us like a ton of bricks for not having a tv pat tested or the wrong colour chopping board in the kitchens, yet others seem to be able to get away with anything.....

May Bonanza?

2009-06-01T10:13:00.003+01:00

Well May has turned out OK again for us, we just about managed to get the numbers up to last years level,i was not convinced that we could do it, as last year was so good with the Eisteddfod bringing in valuable Business it was always going to be tough, when you consider all the things against us Weather, the economy and the difficulty in actually getting here and parking.

May, Must also have given the council a bonanza in parking fines i don't think i have ever seen so many parking tickets on cars as i have this month plus the amount of cars clamped on the may bank holiday, it looks like the crusher will be busy in June

Speaking to guests i have noticed a lot more comments about the state of the town, closed shops, Litter, broken pavements, yobs at night, etc, it is a little worrying, the view out in the bay now looks like something you would see in a major port with barges turbines platforms and all sorts of steel eyesores spoiling the view.

This town was laid out as a tourist destination it is about time some of the sales prevention officers at the council realised that fact, and that without the tourists the town will die we should welcome everyone here not try to put them of as soon as they come off the A55.

Hospitality Association

2009-05-20T13:17:00.003+01:00

The Llandudno Hospitality Association has their A.G.M on 1st of June at 8.00pm in the St Georges Hotel.

Now there are several questions you may wish to ask

How Many Hotels B&Bs Guest houses Restaurants attractions etc Are Members?

Can i join if i am just a small Guest house?

Why are there so many vacancies on the committee is it General Apathy or some other reason?

Overall it is my opinion that they do the best job that they can but maybe it is time to move forward and get a bit more commercial,i know that as a pressure group and working with the various tourism bodies they seem to do OK, but what about driving more customers into the town?

Where is the web site?

What deals are there for being a member?

How do you join?

Where and when do they meet?

Now i know the answer to most of the above but i also know that there is a high turnover of owners of businesses in the town and lots of them don't even know about the Association.

Maybe its time for change, so i would encourage anyone who has some fresh ideas, and is young and energetic to get along to the meeting, and put yourself forward, you will also probably need to have some spare time on your hands something that if you are running a successful business you may or may not have.

You also run the risk of severe criticism and could be accused of being a Johny come lately but it is young and new ideas that will move us all forward.

There will be people with different outlooks on business and the way that things are done, but that is healthy and makes for good debate you never know you may learn something.

I know with the group of hoteliers that i get together with for formal, and informal chats, that there are great ideas that can be shared without pinching business of each other we are all better of if we talk to each other help each other and move forward

It is not the other hotels we should consider our competitors but other towns that are coming up with ideas and re inventing themselves.

After all we pass business on to each other all the time with recommendation's when we are full, in the hope that we will get some back in return when we are not so busy.

Anyone see the apprentice last week? Imagine being stuck in Margate? we have the finest seaside town anywhere that's what we must all believe,now we must have the best hotels to go with it.

Let's Have some comments

Music To My Ears

2009-05-13T13:23:00.004+01:00

I Took a phone call today From PRS now i know that most of you know what they do, but for those that don't they are the people who send you a 4 page document to trawl through every year and complete, send back to them, and you then get a nice bill from them, all for the joy of putting a CD on in the Lounge Bar or dining room, and then distribute it to the poor pop stars of the world.

They also want to know how many rooms you have what type of tvs cd players radios etc, Why?

All this to play music that you have already PAID FOR.

However today they decided to call me to check something on my form when the girl started speaking confirming my name etc she said the following, FOR SECURITY AND TRAINING THIS CALL WILL BE RECORDED, now a lot of companies are adopting this as standard, and i have an objection to it especially from this lot,

So i told her i was not happy about having my voice recorded but woud agree on the condition that they pay me a royalty if it is later used.

They said that they could not do this! But isnt that what you do? i asked, at that point i was told that the conversation could not continue as i had refused to be recorded.

MY point is what if we all refuse to have our conversations taped?
Why do they do it?
Why will they not pay me for it, if they are going to use it for training? John cleese made some great training videos and i bet he still gets royalties from PRS.

Next time someone calls selling something and says that you are being taped try telling them yo won't agree see what happens.

KEEP COOKING THE BACON.

More Cake For Some???????

2009-05-07T16:05:00.004+01:00

The Following is an extract From Visit Wales
Although i would agree that visitor numbers are up i am not sure that they ara as high as the statement says.

Or maybe someone is having more cake than they should be!!!!!!!!

Poll 'backs early tourism boost'
Good weather and last-minute Easter bookings helped Wales' tourist industry to a good start to the 2009 holiday season, a survey suggests.

Despite fewer pre-bookings, 73% of attractions reported an increase in visitor numbers on Easter last year, the poll by Visit Wales found.

The survey indicated that around 83% of the industry feels very or fairly confident for the season ahead.

Heritage minister Alun Ffred Jones said the figures were "a confidence boost".

The survey, based on 209 telephone interviews with business owners from all sectors of the tourism industry in all four regions, found that 41% of businesses had increased their guest/visitor numbers on Easter 2008.

Nearly half (44%) reported the same number as last year, while only a minority (13%) said they had experienced a decrease.

“ There is some evidence that more people are choosing to holiday in Wales or other parts of UK rather than going abroad. ”
Alun Ffred Jones, heritage minister
With Easter falling later this year, the main reason recorded for the successful period was good weather.

More than 42% of business reported that their turnover had increased for the period and 36% achieved the same level of turnover as last year.

The figures also showed that the Easter period was good for Cadw sites across Wales, with visitor numbers up from 24,000 last year to 37,000 this year.

In North Wales, Conwy Castle reported an increase in visitor numbers from 3,750 in 2008 to 5,850 in 2009, a spokesperson reported.

Cadw said its 25th anniversary events programme, which started at many of Cadw's attractions over the weekend, had helped to pull in the crowds.

In Pembrokeshire, Folly Farm adventure park and zoo reported a 40% increase on visitor figures on Easter 2008.

Chris Ebsworth, managing director described the Easter period as "phenomenal".

"It was very very good," he said. "I think we beat every single record we had. Last year Easter was earlier and the weather wasn't so good, but we are still up 18% on 2007 when Easter was late and the weather was okay."

Mr Ebsworth attributed the rise in figures to the well-publicised arrival at Folly Farm of a number of giraffes, as well as people opting to holiday at home rather than abroad during the economic downturn.

He added: "Interestingly the spend per head was slightly up as well."

With research in March indicating that advance bookings for Easter were slightly down, Visit Wales attributed the Easter upturn to the fact that 37% more people booked last minute this year compared with 2008.

The organisation said this was a trend which many operators expected to continue throughout the summer.

Heritage Minister, Alun Ffred Jones said he was very pleased with the "good" start to the tourism season.

He said: "There is some evidence that more people are choosing to holiday in Wales or other parts of UK rather than going abroad. This could be due, in part, to families having less disposable income and as a result of the unfavourable exchange rates.

"I'm also confident that people are aware that our tourism industry is working hard to improve the experience of visitors."

The minister added: "Although one good weekend doesn't make a good season - it has certainly given the industry a boost in confidence for the summer which lies ahead."

Campaign

Julian Burrell, chair of the Wales Tourism Alliance, commented: "The mostly excellent weather over Easter encouraged last minute bookings and we will need to continue this pattern throughout the season."

Visit Wales added that its marketing campaign was showing positive results, saying research also indicated that more people remembered seeing a Wales advert or promotion than for any other UK destination.

A spokesperson said: "TV advertising is being well recalled with 36% of the UK population claiming to have seen the advertising which is having a positive affect on the number of enquiries. 52% of people enquiring about a holiday in Wales state they have seen the advert.

"This early success doesn't mean that we can now rest on our laurels, Visit Wales will be adjusting this year's budgets in order to extend the current UK campaign, including some TV advertising, into the early summer period."